Thinking About Living Together? Maybe Not!
September 4, 2009 by Astrid Engels
Filed under Dating Sites
At the start of your new dating or internet dating relationship, your blossoming romance makes you all starry eyed. You’re both showing your best side, sex is wonderfully new and hot, and your skeletons are still safely stowed in the closet, gathering dust.
Time marches on and you are spending more time together, getting to know each other. Provided the stars are lining up in your favor, you are becoming more and more secure about your new sweetie’s feelings for you. Hand in hand with that confidence is the courage to begin revealing the more uneven parts of you; remember the dusty skeletons?
It’s all a wonderful exploratory road trip complete with sweet twists and turns. As a couple, you create more intimacy and familiarity with each other. You will also discover some unpleasant things about your partner and some may even be a deal breaker. C’est la vie!
Plan to be Annoyed
Remember when you moved in with your best friend from college not long after you graduated? You’d known each other for four long, studious years, figured you knew all about each other and were positive that you would be terrific roommates.
Here’s a brutal news flash; when at home people are different animals. All of us are. Home is where we drop our pretenses. It’s where we let our hair down. The publicly neat and courteous person turns into a total slob in their own castle. And if you live in that castle, you will feel the effects. If you haven’t yet reached the point of unconditional acceptance as in I promise not to scream and yell when you leave the toilet seat up, it’s too early to think about moving in together.
Your Independence
When you’re living alone you keep the hours you want. You never have to share the remote, practice your trumpet at 3 am, and dance around the house naked without the slightest shade of self conscience. However, if you’re uncomfortable dancing like a wild thing in front of someone, with clothes or without, it’s too early to think about moving in together.
You can forget about that constant parade of friends through the front door and your seemingly endless private time will become a thing of the past. Once you’re living with someone, you’ll have to take their comfort into account.
It can be tempting to run head first into a domestic future with someone you’re happy with. Visions of morning coffee, anytime sex, maybe marriage, perhaps children can all be overwhelming thoughts that play our heartstrings into forgetting all sense of, well, common sense. Because common sense (and a few failed co-habitation ventures) would remind all of us that morning coffee can quickly turn into banal routine, constantly available romps can easily squash that carnal urge, and that a sudden leap into the future can make you regret not fully experiencing your single days.
The reality is that living with a lover can be unglamorous and unromantic. I’m not saying it’s bad; it can be amazing and lovely! But before you share and address you need to make sure you have a solid level of compatibility. One that goes beyond the stars in your eyes.
This article was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of professional dating articles.
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