The Second Date; Make The Most Out Of It
September 28, 2009 by Astrid Engels
Filed under Dating Sites
As much as I love first dates, I’m so over them. All that build up, all that pressure, the uncomfortable footwear; it’s all a big fuss over what is really just one night of your life. There are literally billions of articles written about first dates, and yet I don’t think it is the most important date.
It’s definitely special; this is where first impressions are made and hopefully the first sparks fly. And the legendary third date is where, according to tradition, you let your new sweetie see your sexy under things. Of course, nowadays it’s altogether possible that that magic moment happened at any time, from pre-first date until your wedding night. But still, I think we all continue to get the third date rush.
The outing in between those two events, the sweet second date, gets the shaft most of the time. No one pays attention to this night but really, I think this is where the gold is at, Think about it: you’re slightly more at ease and less nerve-ridden than you were on the first date but the overwhelming thoughts of sex are (maybe) waiting until the next time you go out (for the record, I’m not a huge rules girl, I’m just using the whole third-date-sex thing as an example), but it’s still so early in the relationship that you’re completely excited and everything is still brand new.
The second date is the sweet spot. You want to make sure you make the most of this underappreciated occasion read on for a handy checklist:
Put your listening ears on
It’s time to put your listening ears on. Since you’re out with this person a second time, you obviously made a good impression on the first date. You can let go of the nervousness and put your brain back into gear. Start by focusing more on being genuinely interested in your new sweetie and less on making yourself look amazing. This is your opportunity to learn more about your date and watch him or her become a more complete person.
Flirt it up
It’s actually important that you do (not to make flirting seem like a super serious matter or anything crazy like that); date number two is where too many people slip into the friend zone. If you appear to be sincerely interested in what your date is saying and laughing at their jokes and obviously enjoy their company but there are pretty much no sexual undertones to the evening, your date is going to think you just want to be friends.
If that’s not what you want, remember what details of interactions separate friends from lovers and play those up. Make sure your intentions are clear.
Never mind the boxes
This is no time for preconceptions. Not about yourself, the other person or even this fledging relationship. Let’s face it you’ve only been out together once, so you don’t know who this person is yet. Nor do they have any real idea of who you are. Your “relationship”, if it could even be called that, is way too new to be put into a neatly labeled box.
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