My Five Personal Secrets to Make Your Relationship Work Long Term
April 9, 2010 by Sarah Scott
Filed under Free Dating
One thing is for sure, and that is that relationships certainly aren’t easy. Simply taking two completely unique people and tossing them together all their habits is bound to result in at least a little friction. Learning the secrets of making a relationship work is very critical. You can always work things out no matter what stage things are at. Follow these five steps to help create a sturdy base for your relationship.
The first step is honesty. It’s no shocker that strong relationships that stand the test of time are grounded in honesty. It is essential that both people in the relationship need to be honest with each other. This obviously includes the big things like money, and infidelity, but it is also important to remain honest about small things as well. Even tiny little lies that we keep from our partners can have a negative impact on our relationships. Try to think of it this way: Every time you hold something back from your partner, that is just a little bit of yourself that you cannot bring to loving them. After awhile, these things will begin to build up to larger issues. Then you find yourself one day completely alienated and unable to feel for your partner.
The second tip is integrity. This requires keeping your word and following up on your promises. Just like the first point, you have to watch the small things not just the major commitments. Every time a promise is broken, it will take away from the trust in the relationship and contribute to a mounting pile of resentment, which will only cause the relationship to crumble. What you should learn from this is to only promise things to your partner that you plan on following through on. If you have doubts that you will be able to do something, tell your partner and be honest about it.
Third, take an interest in your partner’s hobbies. Relationships need a little work and effort to maintain. Odds are good that your partner has a few hobbies that you do not feel as passionate about as they do. Try to compromise every once in awhile and do things with your partner that you might not personally be interested in. Your boyfriend probably knows that you’re not really interested in watching football or hearing him talk about his hunting trip. When you let him express himself (without grumbling about it), you send him a message that you care about his happiness.
Fourth, see all the good qualities in your partner. Yes, it is true that no one is perfect, but when you put all your focus on the small annoyances you not only make your partner feel bad, but you might even begin to wonder if you should be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t remember to take out the trash or fill up to gas tank. Instead remember those times he said something that instantly made you feel better or comforted you when you were sad. When you remind yourself of all your partner’s good qualities you are helping establish a foundation that will help your relationship last long-term.
Finally, make the effort to really listen to your partner. You shouldn’t feel as if you have to make everything better. We all benefit from voicing our feelings and it really is helpful to have our partner there to share them with. Get in the habit of just listening to what your partner tells you without trying to judge or criticize. Just listen with curiosity without trying to fix his problems or make things better. Knowing how to make a relationship work is, at the core of it, just learning to love and accept your partner fully without demanding that he be something else.
If you liked this article and would like to discover more things you can do to help save your relationship, check out Saving a Relationship and How to Stop a Break Up.
Get Your Ex Back Even After They Have Moved On
November 1, 2009 by Paul 'PJ' Jackson
Filed under Dating Tips
Have you recently ended a relationship? Are you left wondering “Can I get my ex back even after they’ve moved on to another relationship?” Well, you can, so don’t waste time moping or feeling sorry for yourself because even though it’s gone now, doesn’t mean you have lost it for good. Below are some easy steps you can take to get your ex back even if they don’t seem to want to have anything to do with you any more.
1- The first step to getting your ex back is to find a way to convince your ex that they still want you. Unless your ex really really wants nothing to do with you, then there are plenty of things you can do to change their mind.
2- Friendship is one of the most beneficial things you can have at this point. Become a good friend to your ex and show them that you understand them and can have a fun healthy friendship without drama. When the stress of the break up has subsided, there is a very good chance that your ex will realize that they want you back.
3- When talking with your ex, it’s super important that you stay friendly and be nice, but don’t think that means you can’t have a little attitude or make jokes. The goal here is that your ex wants you, but you don’t want them to necessarily think they can have you back right this moment, not just yet. While playing games isn’t the best way to build a good relationship, playing a little hard to get will make your ex much more interested in you.
4- Be sure that while you are playing hard to get, your ex still knows that you are available. Flirting and hanging out with friends is a great idea. After all it’s fun, and it might cause a little jealousy, which will probably help you out. Be sure, though, that you are keeping it safe and easy so that your ex knows that you are still available. If they think you aren’t, they won’t be interested enough to pursue you.
5- Never, ever, ever act desperate. Ever! Did I say that enough? If you act desperate, your ex will underestimate you and start to lose interest. Your goal is to make your ex intrigued, so you want to play it cool so that your ex knows that you are ok with everything that happened between you two and that you’re ready to move on. Acting desperate will cause things to go down hill very fast, and eventually not work out at all. Don’t act desperate.
6- If you catch your ex looking at you, or think your ex is looking at you, look at them out of the corner of your eye with a sort of sidelong glance. This will convey the message that you’re paying attention, but give them a feeling of I see you, but you can’t have me.
7- Bring up the good memories you shared in casual conversation. This will remind your ex about the reasons you were together and how good you were with each other. Don’t bring up bad memories and be sure the conversation doesn’t go that way as that will only bring up past hurt and drive your ex away.
These are just the first steps in winning your ex back. These are the exact steps I followed when I lost the love of my life, and I turned to a guy named T Dub Jackson for advice to win my ex back. Check out my site for more info and free tips to win back your ex.
Looking to find the best How To Win Back Your Ex advice, then visit www.ExBackToday.com to find if it is completely over or if you can still Win Back Your Ex.
How To Save A Relationship – 7 Steps You Need To Know
October 20, 2009 by Paul 'PJ' Jackson
Filed under Dating Tips
If you’ve been wondering how to save a relationship, below are 7 simple steps you can take to accomplish this, but first a little story. Sean and Lizzy both work hard. Sean works long hours at the office, and Lizzy spends her time tending to the children. Sean doesn’t feel she has time for him, and Lizzy thinks Sean doesn’t have time for her. Can their relationship be saved? Should it be saved?
First off you have to decide if the relationship is worth saving. Most relationships can be saved with hard work, but both people have to decide to be committed to saving it. If one of the parties involved isn’t willing, then not much can be done to save the relationship.
There are plenty of people you pass on the streets every day who stay in relationships because they are convenient, or stay with the marriage because of the kids, but that’s just not enough. The key to how to save a relationship is that both parties have to mutually decide that it is worth saving.
The next thing to do is zone in on the problem or problems in the relationships. One of the biggest issues faced with how to save a relationship is that people come to the conclusion that symptoms are actually problems. This is a common mistake, don’t make it. Focus on the actual problems.
An affair is something that often causes break ups, and most people see it as the problem, but more often than not, the affair is the symptom of the true problem. For example, a lack of true intimacy could be the actual problem. Most of us would look at the situation and say the affair caused the break up, but in actuality it was the symptom of the problem and intimacy was the core problem. If you aren’t able to deal with the real problem, you will be in trouble. You may be able to stop another affair with guilt, but another problem, like pornography addiction, may arise in it’s place.
Your relationship can only be saved when you strip down the symptoms and start to deal with the core issues.
After the real problems have been realized, you have to sit down with your partner and have a conversation. Speak what’s on your mind and listen to them while they verbalize their feelings. Hold your partners hand while you listen to show that even if you’re emotional, you want to reconnect. If your partner brings up something that hurts you, remember that it’s not an attempt to hurt you but an attempt to show that they want to improve your relationship.
For example, if your problem is that you don’t spend time together like you used to, take a weekend getaway or set up a date night each week. Even if the date night is Wednesday, you’re spending time together. Then, you and your partner can take turns thinking up fun and exciting ways to spend your date night.
If communication is your issue, schedule 20 minutes before bed when you turn off the TV, shut down the computer and silence your phone and just talk, just the two of you. And, then take action and do it.
And Finally, you must realize that saving a relationship is a process. Often you will go two steps ahead and take one step back. There will be pain and joy as you move along. Just remember to be quick to apologize and slow to place blame.
Are you in a relationship that’s worth saving? If you are, stay committed to saving it and follow the advice in this article.
Want to find out more about How To Save Your Relationship, then visit Paul ‘PJ’ Jackson’s site and discover if you can Save Your Relationship or if it is doomed.






