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A Jedi Mind Trick For Capturing Any Girl’s Interest

May 30, 2010 by  
Filed under Free Dating

The collective male’s attempt at piquing a woman’s interest runs the gamut from demonstrating a lightning-quick wit and sharing interesting stories about himself to doing magic tricks like a clown out of Barnum & Bailey’s circus.

But more often than not, her eyes wander to her cell phone and then meander to the people behind him.

In fact, just about everything in her environment seems to enthrall her except for him, causing a billion and one insecurities to snake into his mind, such as…

1). She must think I am ugly as sin.

2). Does she find me as boring as Velveeta cheese?

3). Do I have the personality of a houseplant?

4). Did I forget to wear deodorant?

5). Is my ego going to be an obituary in tomorrow’s paper?

And if he’s bitter, he might think: She’s like a warm toilet seat – some guy was there before me, another will be there when I get up.

Like a hard working mule, he takes one last crack at making conversation.

But, alas, she stings him with, “It was nice meeting you but I have to go.”

In retrospect, he may think: Damn! That fall-asleep boring conversation piece took the pickup to a crippling halt. It was like the one unlucky drink that shoves a wavering alcoholic off the wagon. I should have never used it.

Most of us have experienced something along these lines.

Many of us have thought: If I only had more interesting things to say, do, or show women, my outcome with them would be completely different.

Although there may be a speck of truth here, most great orators, politicians, and salesmen will tell you, “The content of what you say is far less important than how you say it.”

I’ve seen comedians put an audience in stitches one night yet bomb the next. While the standup routine they used was exactly the same on both nights, their delivery was completely different.

For this reason…

You won’t learn any interesting conversation pieces, cute lines, or fall-on-the-floor-laughing jokes in this article.

Instead…

I’m going to teach you a communication secret that captivates women.

But before I go on, I want you to make me a promise (and, as you’ll see in a few minutes, this promise is for your own good)…

No matter how boring you think you are (even if you think you’re more boring than a 90 year old woman living in a nursing home), I want you to promise me that you won’t change the content of what you say to women for one week.

Here’s why…

I want you to see how adding just this simple secret to what you currently do and say when interacting with women can dramatically increase your success.

In school, you’re taught to finish a thought or idea before moving onto the next. Great advice if you want to plunge women into a narcoleptic stupor.

But if you want women to hang onto your every word, you need to break this crippling habit and start using nested loops.

A nested or open loop is when you start an idea, thought, or story, and instead of finishing it, you move onto something else. In other words, you keep the loop open.

Whenever the human mind is presented with an open loop – unfinished idea, thought, or story – it seeks closure.

Open loops are a form of what I call “tension loops” because they create unresolved emotional tension in a woman.

Even if a woman finds you as interesting and attractive as a sewer rat, the open loop unconsciously compel her to hang onto every word that pours out of your lips and emotionally drives her to see you as a valuable Prize.

Because she seeks resolution to the tension you’ve sparked in her mind and knows that you can release the tension, she perceives you as having value and heeds close attention to everything you say.

Imagine a slovenly bum and a high maintenance babe crossing paths. The bum makes a tragic try at conversation with her by saying, “Hello. My name is Jack and I am homeless. Let me tell you about how I became homeless.”

Chances are, she’d have no interest and scurry off because she finds him aesthetically repulsive, possibly scary, and of little value.

But if he fired an open loop at her, such as, “You know what they say about women with green eyes?” he would probably spark unresolved tension in her body. She’d feel a yen for emotional closure. Closure only he has the power to bring her.

And bada bing, bada boom…

This vagabond she normally would never give the time of day to piques her interest and has value (or Prizability) in her eyes.

Furthermore, open loops can build sexual arousal…

When you spark emotional tension within the context of flirting with a woman it becomes sexualized in her body.

But there’s a facet of open loops I haven’t mentioned yet…

It’s called the “Zeigarnik effect.”

One of the early contributors to Gestalt psychology Bluma Zeigarnik noticed that waiters remember orders up until they serve the food. Then they forget. This led to the discovery that the mind retains the most information when a loop is open.

How does this help you? A woman will probably remember everything you tell her between opening up a loop and closing it.

I want to share with you a powerful application of open loops I learned from watching politicians…

Oftentimes, when politicians are asked a question, they skirt around it for several minutes, talking about almost irrelevant topics, before directly addressing it. This keeps the listener in suspense.

How can we apply this to seduction and attraction?

Here’s an example…

When most men meet a woman they utter their name and then shake the woman’s hand. Usually that’s it. The interaction is over.

An hour – or even a few minutes – later she probably won’t remember his name or anything about him.

Instead, when a woman asks me my name I use an open loop.

I may say,

“When I was a kid my mom told me that she and my dad originally named me Arete, which means all the qualities that make up someone with good character.

And I said, ‘Wow, mom… that’s awesome! Why didn’t you keep the name?’

And she said, ‘Well honey, you’re lucky we didn’t name you Arete because it’s the name of a goddess from Greek mythology.

But we didn’t really give a crap about you having a female name.

The real reason we didn’t name you Arete was that our dog was named Arete – we really loved the name.

And on the day you were born our dog was hit by a car. When we looked at you, we didn’t want you to remind us of the dog. So we named you Josh instead.’”

In lieu of giving her the instant gratification of learning my name I’m using an open loop. This builds unresolved tension inside her body.

Her unconscious mind seeks to bring closure to this loop, inciting her to hang on to my every word.

Had I just told her my name from the get go, she might have judged, “This average looking guy probably lives a boring life,” and then moved onto another man.

But by using an open loop, I had an opportunity to demonstrate that I come from cultured people, have a sense of humor, tell great stories, and possess value (or Prizability).

Plus, due to the Zeigarnik effect, she will remember that I was the guy almost named Arete.

Josh Lubens, a dating coach, write under the pseudonym Swinggcat and has been teaching men how to attract women for the last decade. Visit his website if you’d like to get a world class education on how to attract women.

Dating Strategy: Revealing the Top Things which Turn Women Off

March 6, 2010 by  
Filed under Dating Tips

There are a lot of possibilities when it comes to why men would find themselves embroiled in the middle of the dating scene. You could have gone from a previous relationship and you’re trying to get back in the game, so to speak. Or, you could be a typical single guy who’s not ready to commit yet so you’re playing the field. No matter which of these categories you fall under, it is important to know which factors turn women off.

Basically, you should be aware of what it is that turns women off. For the most part, it’s the initial impression that you will make to a woman that will be your complete downfall. If you fail to attract her the first time, there’s very little chance that she will take a second glance at you when you approach her because she hardly thinks that you’re a casanova. You should also make sure not to sound too full of yourself, appear too stuffy with your behavior, or leave the impression that you’re looking for a quick lay by the end of the night.

Approaching them while you’re a bit too drunk. This is a mortal sin as far as women are concerned. If you have a baby sister, how do you think you will feel when she gets approached by some random guy who slurs his words and stinks of whisky breath? More than just the safety issue, it’s that feeling of being stalked by a drunk stranger which is the last experience that you would want to give to a woman – especially if she’s hot. [I:http://www.tellh.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/GeorgeAndrews0.jpg]

What you need to do is lay off the alcohol. Sure, you may be in a bar setting and you are nursing a bottle of beer because you’re out to have fun. But this does not mean that you need to gather all your courage from alcohol. A couple of drinks is probably okay, but make sure that it’s only enough to make you loosen up. Never approach a woman when you already reek of alcohol, or if you’re already slurring your words or can’t walk straight.

The sweaty and not-so-pleasantly-smelling guy. Yes, bars are crowded and you need to showcase your moves if you want to meet and start dating a good-looking woman in a club or bar. But just because it’s hot and crowded doesn’t mean that you should allow your clothes to stick to your skin too much – or spray on too much cologne that you’d end up with a too overpowering smell by the end of the night. So lay off on the cologne and make sure to wear clothes that will keep you cool despite all the dancing.

The sloppy dresser. You may not have given this too much of a thought – but when you see a woman looking all nice, hot and primped up when going out with their girlfriends, they looked like that because they exerted the effort. As a guy, you need to return the favor and spend some time grooming yourself, too – and actually spending some time to think about what you’re going to wear. If you do your best to look good and not be the sloppy dresser who turns women off, then you’ll have better chances of having a hottie leave the bar with you at the end of the night.

Lastly – and this is one of the most important parts – work on your conversational skills. Ditch the cheesy pick up lines, it sometimes pays off to use a more straightforward approach. Let the inner casanova in you shine by sharpening up your women attraction skills. When you finally get a woman talking, don’t make it all about yourself and keep the conversation light. Be a bit playful and make sure not to leave the impression that you’re simply out to have someone to go home with by the end of the night.

All in all, learning about the top mistakes that you should avoid when it comes to attraction and dating should be the secret of your success with women. If you want to be in on what more of these techniques are, check out the tips that we will be dishing out on our website. Your level of success will leave more women wanting more of you – so check out our site now at http://casanovasystem.org !

George Andrews is a professional in the area of relationships. Gain more information about how you can get into a woman’s good graces by subscribing to his blog and checking out his website.

Making Eye Contact And Flirtation

February 17, 2010 by  
Filed under Free Dating

Controlling the direction and intensity of our gaze is a vital tool for women during flirting. In terms of nonverbal communication, it may be the most powerful weapon. For example, for two people who have yet to meet, the eyes are the bridge to establishing contact and signaling interest. Strong, consistent eye contact can have an effect on whether a man makes his move to pick up a woman.

Men notice eye contact either subconsciously or consciously because they believe it to be a real barometer of a woman’s intentions. They might thing that a woman can say nice things that are not true, but that the eyes are always telling the truth. A woman can use this to her advantage by managing the expressions conveyed by her eyes.

A woman who is very turned off by a man can show her lack of interest by looking away. The danger is that if she accidentally looks away even when she’s interested, perhaps because she is nervous, she may end up driving away a man who now thinks she’s completely disinterested. Therefore, a woman should be very careful about how she looks at everything when she’s in the midst of talking to a man. If she’s attracted to hi, she should ensure her focus is on him If she’s not attracted to him, she can start to make her gaze wander.

Skilled eye contact is not the same as an unending stare. Experts at dating have found that one should look at a conversational partner only about 30% of the time, while the other 70% should be directed in an unfocused direction. This is because an excessively long stare is somewhat uncomfortable to most of us. Each gaze should last only a few seconds, with some breaks in between to maintain greater naturalness.

Paul Ekman, the famous psychologist, has found that tiny microexpressions near the edges of the eye can give away whether a woman is really smiling or not. Some sensitive men probably read into these signals and make decisions based on them. If the smile is not genuine enough, they may be turned off. If the smile and the eyes match in signals, they may make extra effort to pick up the woman. Conversely, a woman may use this to her advantage. If she’s not interested in a woman, she can generate a false half smile without the correct microexpression of the eye to help emphasize her disinterest.

Conveying nonverbal signals with the eyes must be matched by attention to how they look aesthetically. Women who put too much mascara and eye shadow can take away from the impact of their eyes. Men may misinterpret signals. Women who don’t use enough make-up can also detract from their nonverbal messages. An appropriate balance is important.

If you are interested in flirting tips for women, come check out our site. Uncover the latest information and articles in regards to flirting tips for women.

Understanding Body Movements And Women

September 9, 2009 by  
Filed under Dating Sites

Body language is another means of expressing one’s thought or sentiments. It is a conceivable manifestation of a message conveyed.

Have you tried reading body language? Did you actually get it right? It is more than delightful to know if a person is sincere or how she or he feels about you, isn’t it? It may not be easy for you especially if you don’t know the basic factors behind. Hence, the following aspects will be your guide in interpreting body movements.

Again, things will be easier for you if you get the basics right. These include eye to eye contact, physical contact and posture.

Eye Contact

More than anything else, this factor is deemed as powerful. It varies from being direct to indirect, or from a short period to a longer one.

Mostly though, making eye connection for a particular duration is taken as staring, and this is an uncomfortable position to be in.

An individual’s intention can be discern with the way he makes a connection through the eyes for instance. If he is able to make eye contact, his intentions are pure and sincere. On the other hand, if he cannot look straight into your eyes, either he is embarrassed to do so or is guilty, afraid or hiding something from you.

Posture

Poise is a very important indication of how well a person sees himself or herself. Confidence is apparently manifested through one’s posture. Even a couple’s chemistry can be seen through their attitude and body posture when they are together. An affirmative connection is when two individuals impart similar body movements.

At certain times, people display natural ease with their movements. In spite of this, you may also want to know of any other posture that bolsters one’s self-esteem. Pay close attention to a person who is under pressure. See how he or she sits, stands or moves.

Indeed, proper poise is efficient. In doubt of this? Why don’t you give it a try the next time you feel down and forlorn. In such times, you stand or sit up straight, chin up and act as if you are not afraid to tackle anything. As a result, you will feel just like it. It is quite amazing actually.

Physical Interaction

If you do not want to be referred to as the agressive sort of person, then do not shake hands too hard or crush the other person’s hand. The ideal handshake and deemed as proper is firm, while a weaker shake hand is said to convey how a weakling the person may be. Yes, handshakes tell different opinions about you as it is the most practiced form of body contact.

Apparently, people regard body contact in various manners. For those who are used to it because of their accepting culture abput physical connections, naturally they are more open and accepting. But different views may be heard from individuals who do not share the same culture. Therefore, you have to clarify with your partner his or her stand about body contact.

Generally, both men and women differ on their responses and dealings with body language. That is why, it is vital that each person must be considerate enough to take into account his or her partner’s preferences. Unless this is complied, relationships may be harmed at some point.

In conclusion, you can only decipher the signals if you pay attention to them. After all that’s been said and done, can you now read what his or her unspoken message is? Upon seeing two individuals together, do you think they have something special together or are they just mere acquaintances?

You have to read between the lines for you to translate the unspoken language.

Visit Dating-To-Mating to discover how to become the alpha male. Find the Alpha Male System guide here!

How To Get A Girlfriend That Is Right For You

August 20, 2009 by  
Filed under Dating Tips

How to get a girlfriend – If you’re like most guys, you’re probably wondering how to get a girlfriend? It actually can be easier then you are making it.

The very first thing you need to look for is to find a girl that is interested in you. You cant find a girlfriend who isnt interested in you, at least if you want a long lasting relationship. Certainly you can find a girl you are interested in instead, but it is much easier, if you find a girl that is already interested in you. Of course to do this, you must first be interesting. If you are not interesting, you need to learn how to be interesting. Join a toastmasters club and practice speaking in front of people, or listen to great story tellers, just for a few examples. You might also try to adventure into trying a standup act at a random amateur night just for fun. Not only will you get to hear others tell funny stories, but also you will have a chance to practice on your own. Listen to magicians who often times are very good at telling stories as a good magician uses stories as part of the illusion. Its simple enough, learn to be interesting, and women will be interested. It’s not rocket science.

Once you have learned to be more interesting, now you need to be courageous and meet lots of girls. It is easier if you consider this practice, and just approach as many girls as you can, rather than be concerned with whom specifically. If you must, make up a fake name at some busy mall and pretend you are someone else. You can start by going to different places. Try libraries, book stores, rock concerts, malls, shopping centers, after school activities, try joining a meet up group at meetup.com and finding a woman who has a common interest by looking for groups that you are interested in.

Try to be interested in lots of things. Even if you arent, you should be willing to try anything. Become a “yes” man, and if you arent sure what that means, theres a movie called Yes man that you can watch staring Jim Carey. Say yes to a lot more of things, and you will find some things that you like. The more things you try out the better, as you can gain more insight into what other people like and why.

Some places will be better than others for different people. Learn to be a little bit picky, but never overly picky. If you learn to try new things, but be selective, but still regularly try new opportunities, you will find yourself doing just fine.

The more things you try, the more you will naturally have to talk about, and the more interesting you will seem. Use this very simple tip, and you will be interesting. Of course, having girls interested in you is just a start on how to get a girlfriend.

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Flirting with Women

May 10, 2009 by  
Filed under Dating Sites

To chat up a girl or flirt with her, you need to know that it is more like a talent that not all people are gifted by. Men keep on attempting chat up lines and yet they end up failing.

On the other hand, girls do not really do that as much. Hence, you cannot expect an attractive woman to approach you pulling lines like fancy a drink or something? Most men get excited when girls start to show some signs of approval regarding flirting. However, they never think that you should be in tune with them, though. Keep it in mind that chatting up depends mostly on liking or admiring someone. Hence, men ought to remember to avoid flirting with girls they are not really attracted to. The following lines bear some great pieces of advice on how to chat up a girl you like. You should be very careful when you start flirting with any girl. The last thing you would wish to do is to hurt someones feelings letting her know you mean more than you really say. Continue with the article to find out about the successful ways to chat up a girl. Just do it!

Remember not to freak out when you see a strikingly beautiful girl in a ball all by herself. Do not expect a miracle from heaven that may send you an angel to chat you up somehow. Just do it and know that flirting is as simple.

Keep Your Eyes Focusing On Her Looking someone in the eyes is one important factor when it comes to flirting, that if you wish to keep the contact between you and her regardless of all the words. Just do not gaze like a tiger watching its victim.

Do it lightly and you would wholly captivate her encouraging her to do the exact same thing. Just make your look seem loving and admiring and do not confuse it with the look of someone lost.

Make Her Feel Youre Into Her Show her you really admire her because it is the most significant matter in the whole issue as women just love it! She would most likely do more than responding to your flirting and accept your dinner invitation.

Captivate Her If you want to attract a lady, shower her with nice captivating words. There is nothing wrong about praising someone just do not exaggerate or over do it. It is as easy as telling a girl how beautiful her outfit is tonight or even mention angels at some point and how she is more like them. Just do not lie about it because it would make it worse instead of better.

Enjoy Your Time No need for concern or worry; all you have to do is to sit back and enjoy your time. Do not forget that flirting is nothing serious anyway. Remember that when you are not feeling stressed out about it, this should make the girl respond more to you and your words. Flirting is known to be simple and uncomplicated. It is not like youre going to war when youre flirting!

Keep The Cheerful Face You could be wearing the best and most elegant suit you have, putting on a perfect perfume but if your face is not bright enough with a little smile then it will all go to waste. Smiling can definitely guarantee you success anywhere and everywhere. With that smile on your face you are telling your target girl that you are really into her and want to have more of her. However, you should always make sure that she totally comprehends your gestures and signs before you attempt any further action. You can always make it light, simple and shining.

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What To Say When Flirting, Part 1

May 6, 2009 by  
Filed under Dating Tips

In the last series of articles I covered nonverbal flirting techniques, and showed the various ways we transmit our attraction without speaking. Let’s talk about words now!

First, some good news and bad news. The bad news is that women, in general, are FAR better in regards to verbal communication that men, on average.

The good news? When it comes to flirting, verbal communication makes up, at most, less than ten percent of the equation! By that I mean that, altogether, it doesn’t matter so much what you are saying.

Let’s go deeper into this though. You can blow it with words, easily. But you can also REALLY learn to communicate well with them, to the point where you can master it as well as any woman.

The key is to learn to the unwritten rules governing verbal communication. By obeying these rules, you will appear to be more spontaneous, as your conversations will run smoother, but it will take practice.

Think of the situation as trying to learn how to drive a stick shift. You might switch gears poorly at first, as expected. But after awhile, it becomes far more smooth and seems automatic.

If you practice, you will also gain a huge advantage over those that don’t try and learn the rules of communication. Most don’t realize the importance, which is a shame, as they tend to sabotage and frustrate themselves.

The rules are pretty simple, and they govern certain areas. Let’s look at the first area, which happens to be, perhaps, the MOST difficult of all of the areas for men – the opening line.

OPENERS:

I’m sure you’ve been in this situation before: You see a pretty girl, and start walking over to her, then FREEZE when you realize that you have NOTHING to say to her!

It’s frustrating, to say the least.

Well, here’s some good news. What I wrote earlier about the nonverbal part being more important than the verbal part of flirting? It still holds true here.

In fact, the best general opener is, often times, lines that can easily be recognized as openers!

Say if you just were to say “Nice weather we are having, huh?” It’s pretty obvious what you are up to. Now, if the other party is interested, the response should be positive regardless.

This can help take some pressure off you, and give you an idea of how to interpret your success. By trying to be clever, or indirect, you might just wasting time on trying to pull off a great “performed” opener.

How you say the opener will once again ring as more important than the content. If you intone the weather question as a true interrogative, well, that might just sound funny. Stating it as a statement is far more direct and shows assuredness.

The response is how you measure the success at your attempt to communicate. Positive, open responses show a willingness to continue. A poor response, such as a monotone answer, or worse, a no answer, will tell you that it didn’t work and your efforts might be better appreciated elsewhere.

Making a comment about the weather is useful for outdoors. If you are inside, find something that you can make a comment about. Use your imagination for this. Is it hot in there? Crowded? Empty? Simple observations are easy enough.

Essentially, you want to make an observation about what is going on, etc.. Now, this isn’t the only way to open, but from experience I can tell you it’s fairly easy and doesn’t require you to pull off a joke. For more variations on how to do this, be sure to check out my website.

It’s also quite standard. People know it and are used to such a thing. It’s not intrusive or threatening so it can easily. It’s not demanding either – it allows the woman a way out.

Now, if you were to pose it as actually demanding an answer, like “What do you make of this weather?”, it puts her a bit on the spot. She doesn’t want to be rude, nor does she want to e roped in. And that question demands an in depth answer, so essentially that is what you are doing.

Some social contexts allow for more variations – a sporting event is an example, as well as hobbies, business, school. You can comment on those things, asking the woman what she thinks of the situation, the team, etc.. Just use the interrogative formula above, and it becomes rather easy.

The varying answers to the question indicate how she is responding to you. The positive response, nonverbally, will be coupled with some verbal cues: personalization, length of response, and questioning.

With length, watch to see how long a response you get from her – if it’s the same length or longer, that’s a good sign. Shorter, coupled with negative body language, is generally bad.

In personalization, she’ll use the word “I” or “me” in the sentence, is another good sign – such as “Yes, I think they’ll win it all this year.” is good – she’s willing to engage in the line of questioning.

On top of the personalization, she might respond with it, AND in the interrogative form. This is saying “please continue to talk”. For example, if asked about the weather, she might say “It is dreary! I thought it would clear up by the afternoon. What have you heard?” This is a wonderful sign, as she’s fully engaged with you.

Most of the time, when such an exchange happens, people dismiss it as just a polite exchange, when in fact it can be so much more. It’s a friendly invitation to open conversation – and by knowing this, you’ll have that leg up from the other guys out there that I mentioned!

The above lines have nothing clever about them. Very simple, time tested and effective. So what about other lines you see bandied about? They ARE useful, but also advanced. They rely on you being able to gauge her response correctly, which takes time. As I mentioned before, check my website for more information on the usage of such lines.

Don’t make the mistake of opening with a flirtation. The end result is normally a cliche, cheesy line. You’ll probably end up a bad story that a girl will share with her friends!

Pay attention to how the simple openers above effect the women you talk to. You’ll get a feel for opening successfully, which opens the path to better success with women!

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