Discover The Humor Women Love

It is common knowledge that women love men with a great sense of humor and that can make them laugh.

But why is humor so important to women?

Cause when you make her laugh her body releases hormones called Endorphins.

Remember that women are much more emotional and these hormones give her a natural high sensation. A sensation that women love. The same sensation that she gets from chocolate and you know just how much women love chocolate.

But you need to realize that not all humor is going to be amusing to women and failing to be the right kind of funny could very easily be sabotaging your dating game.

Note that no woman wants a clown; not in public and definitely not in private (unless she is into some weird fetish). And that brings up an important question that you must answer:

“What Humor Do Women love?”

Now unless you have a career in stand-up comedy, then it is wise to avoid generic jokes from joke books and comedy shows.

Let me explain…

The reason to avoid those jokes is because you do not want to appear like a clown or a comical character in any way, shape or form.

And appearing like a clown or comical character is the image that rehearsed jokes will create for you.

Rehearsed jokes only work in a monologue (a stand up routine or comedy show) and not in a dialogue (conversations with women). If you try those jokes in a dialogue you will end up looking starved for attention and a bit of a social clown.

And so the kind of humor that you should learn is a mixture of wit and self confidence.

The reason that this combination works like gold is simply because having a sense of wit reveals a high level of intelligence whereas it is no secret that all women love confidence in men. Some dating gurus have coined this amazing kind of humor as ‘Cocky Humor’.

Wit + Self Confidence = Cocky Humor

Now please note that there is a fine line between ‘Cocky Humor’ and plain old arrogance. Learning how to tread that line requires some experience but that isn’t hard to acquire.

Now what you will find yourself struggling with is letting yourself be confident enough to be ‘Cocky’.

Why? Because ‘Cocky Humor’ requires a lot of self confidence.

Let me explain this to you….

When you use ‘Cocky Humor’ you will have to be confident enough to be able to tease her, no matter how beautiful she is. While at the same time being charming enough to communicate a playful and good nature behind your bold words.

‘Cocky Humor’ is never spiteful. It is always playful and witty and that is what makes it fun for women. It communicate to her that you are both intelligent and confident… which are both traits that women love in men.

Want to find out more about Cocky Humor, then visit Ngure Kanjumba’s site on how to Approach Beautiful Women and date them.

The #1 Thing That Women Find Irresistible

So you know that when you meet a woman it’s very important you show her you are different than the average guy. In fact that’s one of your biggest goals is to rise above all the other creepy, timid, boring or just plain average guys she meets on a regular basis. Some guys seem to take the whole “being different” thing a bit too far and try to come up with all kinds of wacky outfits when they go out, or go out of their way to try to convince a woman they are a true original somehow.

Separating yourself from other men is not about wearing a leopard skin cowboy hat when you go out. That’s outdated tricks of a pickup artist and you’re going to end up looking childish. Though there are many things to consider when you first approach a woman for the first time, here is what I think is an extremely important trait you need to show her:

1. Have a passion

Women like men with a passion. More than money or looks actually. Of course some might care about your wallet or want to date a male model, but most women would rather meet a man who has something he cares deeply about and is striving toward. It’s not so much success as it is ambition. In fact most women would admit that a man who has something more important than her is actually very attractive. This is a fact. No woman respects a man who would set aside his purpose or mission for a woman.

So when you meet a woman you need to express your interests to her with enthusiasm. Never be ashamed for what you believe or enjoy. Act as if you believe everyone is as interested in the topic as you are. People cannot help but respect someone who is 100% committed to an idea. Don’t make any excuses for your interests. If you do I call that value-seeking and no woman is attracted to a value-seeking man. The very enthusiasm you have for something is exactly what is going to bring an amazing woman into your life.

Bruce teaches men from all ages and walks of life how to successfully meet and date women. Be sure to sign up for his free crash-course attraction video or check out the Real World Attraction blog for more information.

Flirting with Girls – Ideas to Spark Your Creativity

Flirting with girls is often seen as an intimidating thing, when it should be fun and entertaining. If you want the thrill of seeing that girl smile back at you and the ultimate reward of walking away with her on your arm, then you have to get rid of the tension and relax. The real trick to flirting with girls successfully is to make them think it is effortless and natural.

The last thing you want to do is give off the vibes of fear and intimidation when flirting with girls because they are just going to roll their eyes and walk in the opposite direction. To get you started thinking of some creative ways to approach girls and let them know you are interested, consider the following ideas for flirting.

Crack a Joke

Girls love to laugh! It may seem like most are more proud of their frown than their smile, but it’s a proven fact that the boys who can make a girl smile are more likely to have success when it comes to romance. Therefore, it makes sense that one great way of flirting with girls is to crack a joke that brings out her smile naturally.

We are not talking about cheesy jokes or saying the same one over and over again. You have to have a real sense of humor, since a girl will know if you are faking it. Find jokes which are funny and remember a ton of them. Practice them at home until you are able to instantly snap one off at the appropriate time as if it just comes naturally.

Tricks and Treats

If you aren’t a naturally funny guy, don’t worry! Flirting with girls can also be quite successful if you know some type of magic tricks or are able to give little treats of some sort at the appropriate moment. Again, this has to be done correctly if you are to really win a girl over with these techniques. It has to flow naturally, so practice is essential.

You never want to chase a girl down and force her to watch some trick that is extremely obvious. You want her to wonder how you did that, not report that her five year old brother has been doing that for years. You have to find tricks which get her guessing or thinking. Something with a touch of humor will get a giggle and pay off twofold.

For treats, we are not talking about whipping out a dozen long stem roses when you see her at the movies; unless she is already your date! Think of treats in terms of little things you can do for her. Try to open doors for her. Pick something up when she drops it. Give her information when she asks a question. Just trying to enter her world in small helpful ways can open the door to small acts of flirtation such as smiles and staring at one another for a moment.

Flirting with girls may not come easy to you, but you have to make it look effortless to the girls if you are to get anywhere with them. Some may find trying too hard while flirting with girls cute and endearing, but for most it is simply a turn off.

To learn how Brad Jackson teaches pick up artists how to be creative and even use magic tricks to build attraction when flirting with girls, visit pumaskills.com and learn the secrets of the pick up magic artist.

Get all the important information on flirting with girls. Stop by Brad Jackson’s site where you can discover how topick up girls anytime, anywhere.

How To Use the Internet To Meet Girls

Meeting women on the internet has become a very popular, and very easy, way to get dates for yourself.

In the past, there was a lot of stigma surrounding dating on the internet. No longer. It’s perfectly acceptable to seek out dates on the web.

The only problem is… they’re not usually all that beautiful, are they?

Who hasn’t gone to sites like Match.com and eHarmony, gotten in touch with a girl who had a great picture in their profile, only to meet up with them and find out that picture was from 5 years and 100 pounds ago?

Meeting women on the internet isn’t hard. But knowing how to meet women on the internet the RIGHT way is a skill few men have learned to master.

If you’re not worried about the quality of the women you meet, then just send out enough emails and you’ll get a number of women ranging from hideously ugly to butt-nut crazy ready and willing to date you.

But if you want to get a QUALITY girl, someone who’s mentally stable, attractive, and most of all – fun – then here are some tips you need to know about how to meet women on the internet.

TIP 1: Be Extremely Specific About The Type Of Woman You Want To Meet.

Very few guys ever write in their profile what it is they are really looking for. They either ignore this completely or keep it too general.

Here’s the thing though – if you are extremely clear and specific about the type of girl you’re looking to meet, it will actually GET those types of women to respond to you!

And contrary to popular believe, it won’t scare off too many girls who don’t fit the profile of the woman you want either.

Most women respect a guy who knows what he’s looking for, and they’ll contact you anyway hoping they can “broaden your horizons.”

It’s a very powerful thing to be specific with what you’re looking for in a girl. Don’t be afraid to go into detail about how you want your girl to look and act.

TIP 2: Explain What You’re NOT Looking For.

Telling people in your profile what you’re not looking for can be just as effective – if not more so – than telling people what you are looking for.

For instance, saying something like: “I am NOT into girls who like to be smacked around, so if you’re into abusive guys, please, do not contact me.”

In this instance, you’re actually using what you’re not looking for to communicate to girls reading your profile that you’re not someone who’s abusive, and this implies you respect women and would never hurt them.

But you’re phrasing it in such a way where you’re putting the girl in a position where she has to prove to YOU that she’s worthy of your time, and not the other way around.

This is a very powerful tactic.

TIP 3: Don’t Put a Picture On Your Profile Page!

This seems anti-intuitive. Most people, and sites, will tell you to include a picture in your profile, and it is true you’ll get a lot more pictures. However, if you are doing the contacting, I’ve found that it doesn’t matter if you don’t put up a picture.

In fact, it works out better. Just say in your profile “I’m worried about some crazy girl on this site cyber-stalking me, so I’m not putting up a picture. But if you email me, I’ll send one to you. Promise.” That will be good enough for a response from a girl.

The key here is to let their imagination fill in the gaps of what you look like, and have the words in your profile be what attracts them to you as opposed to your picture.

This is a great technique for guys who maybe aren’t all that attractive, or are insecure about their looks.

TIP 4: Sign Up For Multiple Dating Sites

Just like you wouldn’t just hang out in one bar or club to meet girls, you don’t want to hang out on just one website to meet girls either. It’s always best to belong to multiple dating websites if you can, because it increases the number of women you can meet!

Here are some of the sites I like to use to meet women on the

internet…

MySpace Match.com eHarmony Plenty Of Fish Yahoo Personals OKCupid.com J-Date Craig’s List

Some of these sites are free, some you have to pay for, but all of them will get you results!

So don’t just limit yourself to one dating site. Go for two or three if you can.

TIP 5: Write Funny Emails

Humor is the most attractive thing you can do online. Writing emails that aren’t the same old “hey, what’s up?” or boring emails like “I noticed you liked blah, blah, blah in your profile, I like blah, blah, blah too,” are very powerful.

And the easiest way to do that is to write emails that are light-hearted and funny.

Sending an email that says something like: “Hey, just wondering how many guys with half-naked pictures of themselves have contacted you today. I’m taking a survey. (Don’t ask.)” can get a girl to respond to you instantly.

TIP 6: Get The Girls On The Phone Quickly

Don’t spend too much time emailing back and forth. People are very different over email than they are on the phone. By the third email, you should be asking for her number.

Once you have the number, call her up and talk to her. This is where you’ll find out if there’s some chemistry there, and if there is, you can go ahead and set up a time to meet.

The biggest mistake guys make is they wait too long to talk to a girl on the phone. Don’t let this happen to you! Understand that she’s probably getting contacted by lots of other guys, so if she’s a winner, you don’t want to lose her to someone else.

So be quick about it if you want to succeed

Meet Girls On Myspace

Myspace’s popularity is incredible – it’s been going strong for years, and though it has strong competition from other online networking sites, it doesn’t seem to be slowing down at all.

There are over 200 million people on Myspace. That’s good news for you, as it is perfect for meeting women to date! Even better than most sites!

Why is this?

Because not only is MySpace free to use (a feature which ensures many, many women will use it), but MySpace actually augments, and to a certain extent, replaces the social lives of the women who use it!

What I mean by this is, women who use MySpace regularly depend on it to keep in touch with friends and fulfill their social needs. A busy girl with no time for dating or going out with friends can still feel connected to people by logging onto MySpace, chatting, sending emails, and seeing updates from their friends.

Not only that, women on MySpace tend to skew younger, which means the average age for girls who use MySpace is between 18 and 30. This actually makes meeting the women on MySpace a much easier task, because many of the women you’ll be contacting aren’t as jaded as women who’ve been playing the dating game for years.

On top of everything else, there’s a huge advantage to using MySpace to meet women because people don’t think of it as a “dating site,” therefore you’ll find lots of girls aren’t expecting guys to contact them and try and pick them up.

This means the barrier to meeting women is far less than a site that’s more of a “meat market,” like Match.com. The reason for this is because girls on dating sites get deluged with emails from guys trying to “get with them.” On MySpace, girls typically only get emails from people they know.

So here are a few easy steps you can follow to start meeting beautiful women on MySpace…

STEP 1: Create A Profile

Creating a profile on MySpace is free and very easy to do. In fact, the whole process will take you less than five minutes to complete.

STEP 2: Fill Out Your Profile

Once your profile is created, you’ll want to put information about yourself on it. Think of it like creating a profile for a dating site. You’ll want to have a flattering picture of yourself, an interesting headline that will grab people’s attention, and some information about yourself and the type of woman you are looking to meet.

Be sure to include your interests in your profile. This is a great way to give people conversation topics to chat with you about after checking out your profile.

You can also personalize your profile by changing the theme of your layout, adding music you like, adding videos you enjoy, and a whole host of other things to make your profile more personal.

STEP 3: Add People You Know As Friends

After your profile is created, invite some people you know to become friends with you. Having a small number of friends helps you look more “normal.” It’s inadvisable to begin contacting women right away without having any friends yet, since this makes it look like you’re just trying to use the site to meet chicks (something that’s actually a turn off for most girls on MySpace!)

MySpace makes this easy by accessing your address book and sending out friend requests via email. But be sure to only send an invite to people you feel comfortable letting see your profile! You may want to uncheck coworkers and the like.

STEP 4: Search For Women

MySpace has a great search feature that allows you to look for exactly the type of people you’d like to be “friends” with. Just click the Search button, but be sure to use the “Advanced Search” option.

You can search for just about anything – gender, age, race, etc.. Most importantly, you can search location!

I like searching for girls between 18-25, who indicate that they are interested in dating, and are no more than 10 miles from my zipcode.

You’ll get a LOT of results, especially if you live in a large city. Browse the pictures and see who you find attractive. Then check out the profile pages.

STEP 5: Contact Women

Once you find a profile you like, click the button to send them an email. This is done through MySpace’s system.

Your email should be short, sweet, and most of all – fun and interesting!

Sending an email that just says “Hey what’s up?” won’t get you anywhere. Instead, make your email one to two paragraphs, commenting on something about her and how well you think you’d get along.

So sending an email like:

“Hey, I was just checking through MySpace and stumbled across your profile. You seem totally awesome! Seriously, if you were living in the 80′s, you’d probably be ranked up there with Def Leopard and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, that’s how awesome your profile is, lol.

Anyway, we should chat. Email me back and tell me what your favorite 80′s movie is, and we’ll compare notes.”

As you can see, the response above is short, interesting, somewhat humorous, and bound to get a girl’s attention.

Contact as many women as you like using this method.

STEP 6: Follow Up

You’ll find most women you contact will begin to respond to you. Continue to email back and forth, and even add them as a friend if you like them. Allow them to get to know you.

Once enough rapport has been built up, you say you’re bored with email and ask them for their number so you can text them.

Telling them you’re going to text them as opposed to call them is important, because then they’ll be sure to give you their cell phone number, and they’re not committing to have to talk to you on the phone. Most girls will be willing to share their cell phone number if you approach them like this.

Once you have the number, start texting, ask when a good time to chat is, and then call them up at the appropriate time to set up a date, or a get-together.

It’s really that simple to meet women on MySpace. And you’ll find the quality of women, in terms of looks, is much better than most paid dating sites!

Here are some other quick tips to help you use MySpace to get dates…

–Download MySpace Messenger so you can chat with your friends and other women when you’re online. IM sessions go a long way towards establishing rapport!

–Look through your friend’s friends to find girls you like. Meeting through someone you both mutually know can make the transition to romance much easier than approaching a girl you don’t know.

–Dating is a numbers game, so try and meet as many women through MySpace as possible to maximize your chances of finding a winner.

–Ask women you meet throughout your life if they’re on MySpace, and get their email so you can add them as friends. This is a great way to keep in touch and follow up with women you’re interested in.

–If you mess things up with a girl, don’t sweat it. There are so many out there you’ll have plenty of chances to get things right with the next one.

It’s easy to meet women on Myspace. It’s also fun and very effective. Instead of signing up for some paid dating site, try it out instead. I think you’ll like the results!

Meeting Girls After College

When you’re in college, meeting women can be easy. After all, every class you go to, you’ll find yourself sitting next to one! You’ll run into them at the library, a frat party, a football game, the dining halls…

They are everywhere.

The fact of that matter is that school is very conducive to meeting women. And that makes the process of getting dates much easier than it normally would be.

But what happens when you get out of college and enter *gulp* the real world?

While in school, you have a number of activities, sports, clubs, study sessions, and all types of other social gatherings to help you meet girls, once you’re out of school, your life will typically consist of two things:

Work and home.

You wake up, you go to your job, and then you go home, eat, go to bed, and repeat everything the next day.

The transition to entering the rat race after college is done can be depressing for a lot of men, because their lives become entirely centered around their jobs.

This means that the pool of women they have to choose from is limited to thewomen they meet at their jobs, or the women who live close to them.

And whenever your options are limited, that’s NEVER a good thing.

The key to meeting lots of great, high quality women after graduating from college is to keep being as social as possible, and don’t let your life be consumed by your job.

Here are some tips to help you meet women after college:

TIP #1: Use The Internet

This should seem like a no-brainer. Online dating is great for men who are too busy to go out and meet new girls. So you should always be using the internet to meet new women. This is probably the fastest and easiest way to meet girls.

TIP #2: Get Out Of The House

After a long day of work, sometimes the last thing we want to do is go out at night. But if you don’t go out, how do you expect to meet anybody?

It’s important to make time for your love life. So at least once a week, make sure to spend a day out of the home with the intention of meeting women. You can go on a date, or out anywhere with the intention of meeting women.

TIP #3: Take Advantage Of Errands

No matter how hard we work, we still have to do things throughout the course of our daily lives. Whether it be going grocery shopping, or taking your suit to the dry cleaners, there’s always something we have to do for ourselves.

When this occurs, don’t just rush to get your errands done. Take advantage of opportunities when you see them! After all, lots of girls have to go grocery shopping and drop off clothes for dry cleaning as well. So if you see a girl you find attractive while running errands, take some time and meet her!

TIP #4: Happy Hour

The hour before work starts and around the time work typically ends is a great time to meet girls – if you’re in the right place! In the morning, it’s coffee shops women go to for their morning cup of java. After work, it’s the bar with the cheap drinks.

Go to these places at the right time, and you’ll find tons of women just hanging out, waiting to grab a drink before heading home. Use this time to your advantage! Women L-O-V-E to be social in both these places.

TIP #5: Throw Parties

In college, a great way to meet girls is to throw a party and invite them over. Well, that doesn’t change after you’re out of school. Throwing parties is a great way to meet new people!

Organize a get together somewhere, make sure there’s plenty to eat and drink, and invite everyone you know to show up. And have them invite everyone THEY know as well!

Being the “Party Guy” can really score you a lot of points with girls who are looking to have a bit of excitement in their lives. And it can be a lot of fun too!

Tip #6: Pursue Your Passions

Don’t let work rule your life. Continue to pursue your passions. If you like college basketball, continue to go out to games. If you like live music, continue to go to concerts. Whatever it is you enjoy, go out and do it, and while you’re doing it, meet as many women as you possibly can.

After all, chances are there are some girls who share your passions! And what better way to start a conversation than to talk about something you both love?

One of the worst possible things you can do is to just spend all your time working and doing nothing social. You won’t get better. Get out, and practice talking with women!

When you get better at it, meeting women out in the real world is easy, and a lot of fun!!

Meeting Girls When College Ends

When you’re in college, meeting women can be easy. After all, every class you go to, you’ll find yourself sitting next to one! You’ll run into them at the library, a frat party, a football game, the dining halls…

They are everywhere.

The fact of that matter is that school is very conducive to meeting women. And that makes the process of getting dates much easier than it normally would be.

But what happens when you get out of college and enter *gulp* the real world?

While in school, you have a number of activities, sports, clubs, study sessions, and all types of other social gatherings to help you meet girls, once you’re out of school, your life will typically consist of two things:

Work and home.

You wake up, you go to your job, and then you go home, eat, go to bed, and repeat everything the next day.

The transition to entering the rat race after college is done can be depressing for a lot of men, because their lives become entirely centered around their jobs.

This means that the pool of women they have to choose from is limited to thewomen they meet at their jobs, or the women who live close to them.

And whenever your options are limited, that’s NEVER a good thing.

The key to meeting lots of great, high quality women after graduating from college is to keep being as social as possible, and don’t let your life be consumed by your job.

Here are some tips to help you meet women after college:

TIP #1: Use The Internet

This should seem like a no-brainer. Online dating is great for men who are too busy to go out and meet new girls. So you should always be using the internet to meet new women. This is probably the fastest and easiest way to meet girls.

TIP #2: Spend Time Out Of The House

After a long day of work, sometimes the last thing we want to do is go out at night. But if you don’t go out, how do you expect to meet anybody?

Make sure to put aside some time each week, at least a day or two, to go out with the intention of meeting women. You can go to a bar or other places for meeting women, a date perhaps, but it’s important for you to make time for your love life.

TIP #3: Take Advantage Of Errands

No matter how hard we work, we still have to do things throughout the course of our daily lives. Whether it be going grocery shopping, or taking your suit to the dry cleaners, there’s always something we have to do for ourselves.

When this occurs, don’t just rush to get your errands done. Take advantage of opportunities when you see them! After all, lots of girls have to go grocery shopping and drop off clothes for dry cleaning as well. So if you see a girl you find attractive while running errands, take some time and meet her!

TIP #4: Happy Hour

The hour before work starts and around the time work typically ends is a great time to meet girls – if you’re in the right place! In the morning, it’s coffee shops women go to for their morning cup of java. After work, it’s the bar with the cheap drinks.

Go to these places at the right time, and you’ll find tons of women just hanging out, waiting to grab a drink before heading home. Use this time to your advantage! Women L-O-V-E to be social in both these places.

TIP #5: Throw Parties

In college, a great way to meet girls is to throw a party and invite them over. Well, that doesn’t change after you’re out of school. Throwing parties is a great way to meet new people!

Organize a get together somewhere, make sure there’s plenty to eat and drink, and invite everyone you know to show up. And have them invite everyone THEY know as well!

Being the “Party Guy” can really score you a lot of points with girls who are looking to have a bit of excitement in their lives. And it can be a lot of fun too!

Tip #6: Pursue Your Passions

Don’t let work rule your life. Continue to pursue your passions. If you like college basketball, continue to go out to games. If you like live music, continue to go to concerts. Whatever it is you enjoy, go out and do it, and while you’re doing it, meet as many women as you possibly can.

After all, chances are there are some girls who share your passions! And what better way to start a conversation than to talk about something you both love?

The worst thing you can do is just spend all your time working and watching TV. That won’t get you anywhere. Just take action, get out of the house, and know how to start conversations with women.

When you’re able to do all that successfully, meeting girls out in the “real world” is both fun and easy.

How To Flirt With A Silver Tongue: For Men, Part 2

If you have her talking already, here is another important piece of the puzzle: turn taking!

Here’s an example of why this is important to know: you are speaking with a nice young woman, and it appears to be going well. You keep talking, and then her eyes wander. Soon, the conversation just winds down, and she’s gone. So what happened there?

It could be a bunch of things, but perhaps the most common mistake that men (and women) make is lack of recognizing the tempo of conversation, and that they need to take turns. The vocal inflection of another person will indicate WHEN it is time to talk.

Too often, people who are frightened of speaking, when finally given the chance, will tend to blabber like there is no tomorrow. Understandably so – it’s NICE to have someone paying attention to you.

But true rapport and conversation isn’t like this. And after time, a blabbermouth will eventually run people off.

In a recent article, I wrote about vocal signals, one of them being the change in intonation when finishing a sentence, indicating it’s time for the other person to speak.

You MUST learn these signals. Look at it from the outside – have you ever met a person with the speaking eloquence of Oscar Wilde, witty and sharp tongued, yet was completely despised because NO ONE could get a word in edge wise?

On the opposite end of that, you can end up being worse – the guy who puts ZERO effort into any conversation, making the other person do all the talking by showing no interest.

Both these types are bad – so take effort not to be one of them!

So how do we avoid this? By allotting equal time for each person. You should speak the same amount of time as the other person.

Most of the time, a pause is a sufficient signal. But it isn’t always the case. In the earlier articles I wrote about in the nonverbal section, there are some nonverbal cues that will allow us to see when it’s time.

The first is eye contact – the woman might glance away while finishing the sentence. As well, there is the matter of rising and falling intonation – an intonation change will indicate, as well, that they are finished speaking. Listen also for a drop in volume at the end of the sentence – it’s the final clue.

So we have these cues: length of their turn, pause, intonation at the end of the sentence, eyes turning away at the end of the sentence, and a drop of volume. If any of these happen in combination, it’s usually a good sign that it is your turn to speak.

When you are taking turns, try to get EQUAL lengths of time between you and the other person. The end result? You will come across as a fantastic conversationalist!

Coming up in a later article, I’ll get into the subject of content when it comes to talking with others!

Flirting Without Speaking, Part 8

Last article, I went over the powerful effect of touch, and it’s importance while flirting. In this article, I’ll go over how vocal signals are also a major part of nonverbal flirting too.

Hold on… how is this nonverbal, if it relates to the voice? Despite that, it doesn’t relate to the words you are using. Rather, it deals with the INFLECTION you use while speaking.

The distinction is important. Much of your first impression is based on HOW you say something, versus a small amount of it being based on WHAT you say. It’s drastically more important.

With that regard, it’s important to be able to read her vocal signals too. It’s quite possibly the stronger interest indicator we have, yet most people disregard this.

Let’s look at this – take a simple word, like “hello”. Now think of the different ways to say “hello”, in terms of inflection. You can say it in a manner of surprise, if you weren’t expecting to see that person wherever you are.

More importantly, you can say it in a manner that indicates interest. If you say hello in a drawn out manner, with a rising intonation at the end, think about what it says. Try it.

It can show you are interested. Now think about this. It will also show you if SHE is interested. She might say it in a flat, monotone voice. That’s not good. But if she smiles brightly and says hello, it generally is a positive thing.

Remember, always look for other signs to gauge this against. She might have a monotone voice or be somewhat of an unemotional person, so her intonation will come across as flat. She might also have a vibrant personality, and be overly friendly, so her response might not be what it seems. The best method of judging this is by watching how she reacts to others.

So what is with intonation? How does this work? The key to this is to read between the lines. It will become apparent after that. Hello can mean “You are insanely beautiful.” It can also mean “Get away, creep.” Look objectively and you’ll see what I mean.

Try practicing with a buddy. Take the word “yeah”, and try to make it mean as many things as possible. The general idea is to spot the inflection as it’s being spoken.

As well, you should take some time to examine your own voice. If you are monotone, work on becoming more lively with your voice. Do this by changing pace, the pitch, and the tone. It will improve how people view you almost IMMEDIATELY.

Your volume is important too. I you are too quiet, you will come across as a bit submissive and worse, frustrating to the listener, who might have to ask you to speak up.

But be sure to temper it. I’m sure you’ve dealt with a very loud person who had a pitch that was everywhere. They are obnoxious, and far worse than being monotone.

The idea is to balance all the parts correctly. This takes a bit of effort, but it is well worth it.

Another key element to remember is the use of intonation to allow a turn change. This is an important verbal cue that is forgotten more often than not.

If there is a rise or fall in the intonation by the other person, it is generally used to indicate that the person is done speaking and wishes the other person to speak.

Conversely, if you do the same, she might be expecting that you have finished speaking, and it is her turn.

Not heeding these signals can lead to bumpy conversations, even irritating enough to end them.

Again, with this, practice! Hold conversations with friends, and watch the conversations of others with an eye towards these cues.

It takes time, but you will eventually learn how to use your voice as a powerful instrument of success!

This is the last of the single articles on nonverbal flirting. Coming up, I’ll write some about verbal flirting, and putting all the pieces together, so keep reading!

Silent Flirting: What Your Body Language Is Saying About You, Part 4

In continuing with the series on flirting, here’s the next article on an often forgotten aspect of flirting – the gestures you use!

Generally, people focus on what they are saying, or will say, rather than pay attention to what is happening around them.

And that often leads to a blown attempt at a pick up!

So what part do our gestures play?

They go hand in hand with our posture, and are sending non verbal messages to the person we are focusing on. They show our interest in the other person, and likewise will show us if it’s being reciprocated.

It also ties in with our energy levels – it’s the way we put energy into the conversation. If you are lively, you will likely be more animated in your gestures than if you are preoccupied.

In this way, gestures (and the accompanying energy level) can be both a curse and a blessing. Poor energy, low level gestures can betray the words we speak. High energy, lively gestures are infectuous!

It’s a do or don’t situation. Either way, if you don’t decide on what gestures to use, your mind will go ahead and do it for you. You can naturally get into a groove, but if you DON’T, then you have to change that yourself.

So what gestures can we learn to use that will come off as natural and spontaneous? That’s a great question.

Watch two people in deep rapport. They’ll maneuver with their hands at the end of the sentence, sometimes with a point. They’ll tilt their heads, or nod in agreement.

These are all great gestures! The main thing with these is that they will occur naturally when you get into rapport with another person.

There are many gestures you’ll notice if you watch, but for now let’s pay attention to the simplest of them – the nod. It may seem like nothing, but it is a tremendous conversation regulator! Master it and you will find it an effective method of gaining rapport as well.

The key is to use single quick nods, for the most part. They will be helpful in keeping someone talking to you.

Other nods are helpful in different ways, and some have the effect of interrupting the flow of the conversation. A quick double nod will speed up the conversation, while a triple nod or slow single nod will more than likely interrupt it. Keep away from those for most part.

Other gestures to watch for are nervous type gestures, such as hand clasping or wringing. Palm rubbing fits in this category. Again, they are infectuous; the other person might become anxious as well.

A controllable part of this trait is the DIRECTION which you point your hands. Poiting towards yourself heightens the nervousness. Pointing away from yourself actually shows confidence! You can guess which is better.

Make an effort to start using gestures that point outward. Over time they will become habit. As well, watch the gestures of the person you are flirting with – they are great indicators, and by having a stronger presence, you can actually put someone at ease with your gestures!

Another VERY powerful technique is to slowly synchronize your gestures with the person you are flirting with. Now, if things just naturally go right, it will probably happen anyhow, but by actually attempting to get into the flow, you are going to build a greater rapport than ANY words could possibly build!

This type of synchronization will allow you to take a nervous, awkward conversation and turn it around very quickly.

When it does happen, it’s a sign of comfort. And from there, you can move on in your advances.

Take the time to master these techniques – they are extraordinarily powerful.

In the coming article, I’ll show you how your facial expressions have a tremendous effect on your flirting!

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