Should I Get Him Back Or Move On?
June 8, 2009 by Nikki Frost
Filed under Dating Sites
Did your boyfriend just leave you? This may be hard for you to deal with. You could really be hurting, but still eager to get him back.
First of all, while you can use this time to look at yourself and where you are in your life, don’t do too much introspection. The truth behind why your boyfriend break up with you is that he had his own issues. You know what they say, “it’s not you, it’s me.”
You can spend time at getting your ex boyfriend back. If you are going to go down this route, you need to know the following things:
1. Leave him alone – Once he has left you, it means that you will have limited communication with him. This does not mean you should make up for it by calling or texting him several times a day.
2. It is okay to flirt with other men when he is around. It may make him possessive over you and eager to regain your affection.
3. When getting him back for a “trial date” be cheerful and friendly but don’t pressure him for more than he can handle.
But, if you have that feeling that he has gone forever, then it is better to trust your instinct and move on than try to get him back. Here’s a 3-step plan to get over him quickly.
Firstly, you need to come to grip with the break up.
So take time out to get all your feelings down on paper, in a long, emotional letter to him. Talk about the good times and the bad, how painful the break up was for you, and what an idiot he is for giving up on you. Write down exactly how you feel. When you have finished, DO NOT post the letter to him! Burn it right now – and watch those emotions disappear with the smoke.
The second step is to give back each others belongings.
If you have decided not to get ex boyfriend back, then now is the time to give back his things, and claim your things back from him. Give back everything that reminds you of him, especially his shirt you love sleeping in. Get back those CD’s, he borrowed from you. Do not worry about small things like his toothbrush – rather just throw it out.
Don’t have anything around that reminds you of him. If you have gifts that he gave you, box them up for the time being. If you have any money issues to resolve like debts to the other or a joint checking account, get them sorted out.
Thirdly, do not talk to or see him for a month, if you do not want to get him back.
This may be hard if you are used to seeing each other on a daily basis, but after a boyfriend break up it is necessary to give yourself some space and distance.
It can be an extremely emotional time for you when your relationship ends. But do not let your negative emotions control the rest of your life. See it like this – now that he is no longer in the picture, you have the opportunity to find the man of your dreams.
On the hand, just because he has broken up with you, it does not mean that the relationship is over for good. If you feel you have a chance to get him back and that he is worth pursuing, then you should go for it. True love always gets another chance.