Marriage Problems Solved – Words To Use, Words To Avoid
July 25, 2009 by Roy Anderson
Filed under Dating Sites
How long have you been struggling to solve marriage problems that have been hindering your happiness? More importantly, how much longer do you think you have until things completely fall apart and divorce is the only way out? If you are getting near the point of total desperation to fix your relationship, it is time to consider the way in which you are trying to communicate with one another.
The biggest differential between couples that are able to salvage a difficult marriage and those that end up in divorce often comes down to communication. While every couple believes they are communicating in an open and honest manner, they are in fact coming at one another in a very defensive, accusatory manner which puts the other up in arms instead of at ease.
Maybe you are one of those people? If you have been wondering why your spouse shuts you out and just won’t let you into their real thoughts and emotions, chances are the way you are asking for that entrance is pushing them away rather than drawing them near.
The issue is likely the huge rush of raw emotion that lies just behind every conversation you have with your spouse. This is an unavoidable fact of marital tension, but you have to recognize its existence before you can move beyond it. If you want to get through to your spouse, you will need to adopt new methods of opening conversations.
To begin with, you must approach your spouse at a time they are most open to communications. For instance, it will not suit you well to come at them when they just got laid off from a job or had a rough conversation with someone else on the phone.
Next, you want to ensure that the way you open the conversation does not make them anticipate a fight. If they think you are upset with them or that you are blaming them for something they will immediately pull away instead of opening themselves to you.
Finally, take the time prior to this meeting to figure out exactly what you want to say, or even write it down. Carefully phrase every single line so that you never state things that place blame. You want to just focus on yourself and your own feelings. Stating your love for them is another great move.
This is not a definite way to fix all of your marriage problems overnight, but it can in fact set a new tone for the way you communicate with one another so that future conversations are more healing and less conflicted.