Leaving an Abusive Relationship
April 27, 2009 by Liz Johnson
Filed under Dating Tips
Leaving an abusive relationship is one of the most exigent choices that an abuse victim will make. Typically, an individual who is involved in a relationship that is ultimately unhealthy does not know or understand that they are, and will remain in it for quite some time. It is often the friends, and even family members of the person in the relationship that recognizes the fact that the relationship is abusive before the victim will.
Often, the abusive party brainwashes the victim into thinking that violence and abuse are deserved and normal occurrences when in reality they are not. Does this unhealthy relationship sound just like yours? If so, opt out of it while you can. You will find the following information useful:
Opting out of an abusive and unhealthy relationship is not a one-time deal. Prepare to brave through a number of phases before you make your way out. The first phase involves your rationalization of your partners behavior.
You may feel as if you are to blame for the way that they act towards you, or that they are experiencing other difficulties in their life that may cause them to become abusive in one way or another. At this point, you should quit blaming yourself and realize that your partner must take responsibility for their actions. You take responsibility for yourself, and your life ” do not take responsibility for your partner or their life. They make their own choices, and if you are being abused, that is their choice, not yours.
The next phase involves a feeling of loss and emptiness. When you anticipate leaving the relationship for good, you find it hard to imagine how your life will go, especially when you have grown so dependent on your partner ” exactly the same person who abused you.
This is a direct result of the level of control that the abuser has had over you. Abusive individuals have a knack for breaking down the emotional state of the person that they are with and then rebuilding them in the way that is most convenient to their miscalculated and irrational needs. You must realize that you are capable of moving on, and living your life without the burden of abuse and unhappiness.
When considering your life, and whether or not you should walk away from an abusive relationship, you should consider your safety. An abuser does not always have the ability to control their impulses and/or aggression. What starts off as a small amount of abuse could end up getting bigger and bigger.
Worry about yourself, your health and your future. Physical abuse can injure you or end your life. Psychological and emotional abuse can toss you into long-time depression. Nonphysical abuses can take a toll on your physical well-being.
When you have reached a decision to walk away, do not expect your abusive partner to be receptive of the idea. Your partner could hurt you, so make sure you draft an escape plan that involves people who can help you smoothly transition from a life of abuse to a life of safety.
The last and one of the most important lessons you must remember is to make your exit swift and silent. Do not give your abusive partner a chance to follow and find you at your new location. Letting go of an abusive partner is really one of the soundest decisions you could make for yourself. Apply these lessons in your exit plans and say hello to a better life.