How To Quit Paying For Dates With Women
March 9, 2009 by Joseph Matthews
Filed under Dating Tips
Many guys who go out on dates (and perhaps this includes you), and are trying to get a girlfriend, end up spending a lot of money in the process.
If you are going to dinner once in awhile, there is little need to worry. Once you start going to nice restaurants two or three times a week, then you are looking at some big bills.
So this begs the question – should you avoid paying for dates? Should you try and go dutch? What can you do here?
To me, the answer is simple:
DON’T GO OUT ON “TRADITIONAL DINNER DATES” ANYMORE.
See, if you don’t go out on “take her out to dinner” dates anymore, then you won’t have to deal with paying for them. Restaurant food can get expensive, especially if you’re paying for two and going someplace other than McDonald’s.
So you want to avoid the trap of doing what every other guy does, and offer to “take her out” on a traditional dinner-and-a-movie type date.
Instead, offer her chances to hang out with you in casual settings that aren’t going to cost you a lot of money. Ask her to meet you for coffee, or drinks. This way you won’t spend more than $10 on the first date.
A favorite line I use is to ask the girl: “What time are you having dinner tomorrow?” After she tells me, I say “Let’s meet up for drinks after that!”
It’s a slick way to bypass the whole “dinner” situation.
If you are really hurting for cash, show up a few minutes late so she buys her own drink and is waiting for you. You can even ask “where’s mine?” when you show up.
Also, you’ll want to be sure to set a budget on a date – I like to say I’m not willing to go over $30 until I find out I actually like the girl and she feels the same way about me.
Having a budget in mind will help in the decision making process of where to go and how long to say. If she’s beginning to finish her drink, and you think she may order another one, tell her “Don’t get another drink here, I want to take you somewhere else.”
Then you can bring her to a different bar and focus on dancing, or something else that’s free and gives you time to get to know each other.
Whatever you do, though – do not come off as cheap! Women don’t like cheap men. It’s not a gold-digging thing either, it’s more acout courtesy. It’s okay to try and have a cheap date, but if you start haggling over splitting a $2 cup of coffee, you’re going to look bad and lose her interest.
Remember – it’s okay to buy the girl stuff as long as it’s in your budget! If she’s asking you to buy her a diamond bracelet, obviously you’ll have to let her know she hasn’t earned that yet. But getting her a drink isn’t going to kill you.
Finally, never ask the girl to pay for anything. But if she offers, feel free to take her up on it! Lots of girls will reach for their purses when the check comes. If they do it on their own, let them pay. But keep in mind that if you asked HER out, they typically want you to pay since you invited them.
So you buy a woman a bunch of dinners. Will she have feelings towards you? Yes, and they aren’t always good. Generally, she’ll feel some affection, but it’s not going to create attraction, which is much different. Attraction is also what you want.
In my opinion, you should avoid buying things for a woman until it’s obvious things are going somewhere. Until then, give the gift of the self!