Getting My Ex Back Seemed Like A Tug Of War – Here’s How I Won
April 20, 2010 by Christy Thomson
Filed under Free Dating
Trying to get back with an ex is not easy. Getting my ex back was like taking part in a tug of war where the winner takes all. I resolved that I was going to be that winner.
In all honesty, it’s hard to win a tug of war. And even the winner can be left feeling totally exhausted by the whole thing. Much like a relationship with problems. But here’s what I did.
I started off totally in denial that we were finished. I absolutely refused to accept that. I resolved that I would do whatever it took and I told him that. I also told my ex that I planned on putting so much effort into getting him back that I would wear him down and make him change his mind.
I guess what helped was that he did still love me as much as I loved him, so he put up with my efforts to get us back together. It didn’t always go smoothly. But if he didn’t care, none of my efforts would have done any good.
We did the tug of war thing. He’d tell me why we were through, and I’d tell him why that was a mistake. He’d say he couldn’t take the arguing anymore, I said we needed to keep talking. He’d say he needed more space, I told him I would give him space but I was not going to let him go. We kept going back and forth, talking and arguing.
Often it seemed that the harder I tried, the worse it got. Eventually he got tired of the tug of war. He was pulling in one direction and I was still pulling the other way. He didn’t want to get back with me. I desperately wanted him back. It was a real stalemate and I admit I was ready to give up.
I realized that I had a couple of choices. I could continue struggling with the two of us going back and forth even though nothing was really changing. Or I could just let go of the rope and let him walk away from me. I wasn’t happy about either of those choices.
But I decided to go with the second option in a way. Before I let go, I let him know that I was tired of the tug of war and trying to sell him on the idea that we should be together. I then told him I loved him a lot and I did want him back, but the decision was up to him now.
Letting go of the rope was the best thing I could have done. By letting him go, it gave him the space he needed to think things through. It wasn’t long before he called me and we were talking about how to fix our relationship.
I have to say that getting my ex back was definitely a tug of war. But by deciding to let go of the rope and give in, I ended up getting the win in the most important way possible.
The tug of war is only one of the strategies you can use for getting back together. For many more ways to get your ex backincluding the most important first move you should take, visit makingup-magic.org
I don’t understand what you mean that you both can’t get back together? You should ask this girl out to some place quiet where you both can talk about your feelings for each other, Because it seems to me that she is still in love with you are else she wouldn’t be talking to you everyday.
Walks alone are nowhere near enough for my dog and probably won’t be for yours… She needs the chance to run around and play. Taking the time to play fetch and tug and chasing her around the yard will definitely help.