Does Your “Nice Guy” Behavior Get In The Way Of Your Love Life? Part 1
April 15, 2009 by Joseph Matthews
Filed under Dating Tips
My friends, a question for you…
You have heard the saying about “Nice Guys” and finishing last, right?
Well, I’m here to tell you that saying is 100% true! But not for the reasons you may think.
Being a “Nice Guy” with women doesn’t work, not because you get too caught up in what a girl wants and get stuck as a friend, but because Nice Guys are typically very, very…
SELFISH!
That’s right. When you’re a “Nice Guy,” you’re not really being nice, you’re being EMOTIONALLY GREEDY.
Let me explain…
One of the biggest problems guys who are struggling with women face is something I like to call “the Nice Guy factor.”
Countless men rely on others to determine their self worth, due to having a weak identity and very little self esteem.
These guys are at the mercy of everyone else in their lives, so they try their best to please the people around them, hoping they’ll continue to think highly of them, so they can feel good about themselves. That’s not so bad, right? It feels good when others approve of you, doesn’t it?
Most people look at this behavior and would instantly categorize these poor men in the “Nice Guys” column. After all, they’re the ones who don’t like conflict. They’re the ones who don’t want to make waves. They’re the ones who want everyone to be happy.
They are also some of the most selfish people on the planet.
Seriously. I know this because I used to be one of these people, and I know all their dirty little secrets! And the point of this newsletter is to make everyone who thinks of themselves as “nice” or as a “victim” really, really irritated!!!
All of you “Nice Guys” out there reading this are nothing more than “people pleasers.” Somewhere in your life, you found out that pleasing people is a way to get other people to like you and admire you so you can feel good about yourself.
Whether it was the acclaim of your parents, or the acceptance of your friends, somewhere in your time on this planet YOU LEARNED to feel good based on what other people think of you.
But the truth of the matter, doing this isn’t just harmful, it’s actually dishonest. I’ll explain just how in part 2 of this article.