Breakup Advice: When Can I Date Again?
February 19, 2010 by Gregory Howard
Filed under Free Dating
The word on the street is that you can’t go forward until there is closure of the old relationship. So is closure a must? I feel the answer is unique to each individual. Some people never really achieve what is viewed as closure and can still go on to have successful relationships.
Is closure that ah-ha moment when you can let go of the past and have forgiveness? And is it absolutely necessary to be able to date again? Check this out:
A Comparison Between Dating & Relationships
There a missing factor when dating, there is no emotional commitment. There might be feelings like nervousness and attraction but that’s about it. Dating is kind of like practice so there really isn’t any closure required.
Now when you compare dating to a relationship it’s like comparing little league baseball to major league baseball. There is a whole lot more to a relationship especially when you have 100% involved your love, your dreams and your future plans.
You invest so much in a relationship, and the closure process comes in the form of getting back the control of your love, your dreams and your future visions. Unless we have back command of these pieces we will find it very difficult to start the process of a happy future with someone new.
This Is The Frustrating Part
Say you find someone else, and they look just the way you like, and they have the sense of humor you like, heck they even have great manners and smell good. The thing that sucks is if you are not in control of your feelings inside from your past relationship the new one doesn’t stand a chance.
I know this may not be what some folks in that place in their lives want to hear but the thing to do is to put things off until you are able to get to that place with your ex that you can move on without them in your life. Until then forget about any new relationships.
If you are not yet ready for a relationship does that mean you shouldn’t date? No, studies have shown that dating can speed up the act of getting your heart, your hopes and your dreams back.
Getting Back Your Emotions
Here are the facts: When talking about dating, closure is not a must but to achieve a successful long term relationship closure is a must. The investment in time and energy to get a handle on your emotions will pay you back for a long time. Because it’s not fair to you or the other person, know matter how good they smell.
Taking control of your emotions might be one of the hardest and scariest things you have ever had to do. You need to look at the big picture, the picture of you with a happy future, no matter how scary it might seem now.
There are times when it’s not the right answer to seek closure and move on. If you’re still in love with your ex you don’t have to move on until you’re ready to. You can get your ex back I can show you how. The Make Up Plan
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