Approaching Older Women

If you’re looking to meet a great woman, one of the things you may want to consider is meeting women who are older than the type you might normally go for.

But before I go any further with this, I want to make a distinction here…

There is a difference between women who are “older than you,” and “older women.”

For instance, a woman in her 20s could be older than you, but that’s different from a woman in her 30s, 40s, and beyond.

So I’m going to talk about “older women,” in regards to the fact that I consider women over 35 as being “older” in my book.

Some women may take offense to this, and some men out there might even say women in their mid-to-late 30s aren’t “older,” but I judge this based on what women FEEL.

A woman who is 35 and still single definitely FEELS like she’s an older woman. This is because typically, she has been married, had kids, or is worried she’ll never get married by this point in her life.

Technically, this type of thinking starts for women around age 30, but by 35, it REALLY kicks into high gear. So my advice is geared towards women 35+, are we clear?

Okay then…

First of all, approaching older women is generally much easier than younger women. Not just because it probably doesn’t happen to them all that often anymore, but because the woman will receive the attention better.

When it comes to approaching older women, I like to go with being EXTREMELY complimentary and flirty. Women who get positive attention from men, especially when the woman is older than they are, will become very receptive to it if done right.

Understand – women feel like they’re always in competition with OTHER women. Other, younger, women. So if you can make them feel attractive, they will be quite receptive to you because you’re validating to them that they “still got it.”

Trust me – even if the older woman is still attractive, this will work. I once dated a 36 year old actress when I was 28. She was a stunning blonde, but incredibly insecure about her looks because she felt like she wasn’t “young” anymore, even though she looked just as good (if not better) than women ten years younger than her.

And because I was able to charm her and make her feel good, she became attracted to me.

When it comes to women, it really is THAT simple.

But don’t compliment her on her looks. Compliment her on other things, and THEN have that lead to her looks and other things.

For instance, I might start a conversation by saying:

“Excuse me, I know this might sound cheesy, but I have to ask – have you ever had any kind of dance training?”

(Typically, most girls have taken some form of dance class in their lifetime, but even if they haven’t , you can proceed with this opener)

Follow up by saying:

“I just ask because you move so gracefully, like you just naturally know how to move your body. You seem so confident with yourself, it really is noticeable.”

From there, you can take the conversation towards asking her about herself. Then you can stack on stuff like:

“You have an amazing energy about you. It’s like you have a really youthful spirit.”

And…

“I must say, I think you just might be the most attractive woman I’ve seen in a long time. I meet a lot of girls in their 20′s who couldn’t hold a candle to you.”

Saying things like this will really make the older woman you’re talking to feel good, ESPECIALLY when you tell them that younger women can’t compare to them.

The trick here is not to be overly complimentary, otherwise your compliments come off as insincere. You want to be flirty, and sprinkle in your compliments as you go.

Now, simply being complimentary isn’t always the best tactic to take, of course. There are times where a woman will still give you an attitude if she’s extremely attractive and knows she’s in high demand. If this is the case, you need to use the usual methods of approaching her and gaining attraction. But I’ve found in general that this is the way to go when approaching older women.

If you’re interested in learning the secrets of How To Meet Women quickly and easily, then you should go to ArtOfApproaching.com right now to sign up for your free Meet Women newsletter.

What People Do To Meet Each Other, Part 2

You’ll be taking a huge risk when meeting a woman if you don’t use a decent opener. You need one to:

1. Get her to talk to you

2. Keep her talking

Maybe what you say will get her to respond with a “Yes or no” answer. If that’s the case, where do you go from there?

Maybe what you have to say will get her to explain something to you, but will it really engage her in conversation? Will she continue to talk to you so you can establish that “trust and comfort” foundation you’ll need to get her information?

These are the factors you have to take into account when you go about meeting a woman. Here are some examples of openers you want to avoid:

“Do you know where X is?”

“Do I know you from somewhere?”

“That’s a nice X you’re wearing.”

“Do you come here often?”

The list goes on. But if you look at all those statements above, they don’t really lead anywhere. They’re not engaging, they’re not interesting, and they will not help you get to know the woman you’re talking to any better.

Here’s a good opener for you to “test out” this weekend or whenever you’re going out next. When you see a girl you like and want to meet, walk up to her and ask:

“Hey, just curious, do you read the horoscope?”

See how this opener differs from the ones above? You’re not asking her an ordinary question she hears a million times a day, and there’s an intriguing element to it. Most women are interested in horoscopes and other new-agey stuff, so even if they DON’T read their horoscope, they may be interested in why you’re asking the question.

If she says YES, it is easy to ask her what her sign is and what her horoscope is telling her. This is great because she will be giving you information about herself that you can use to your advantage in the conversation.

If she says NO, ask her if she’s ever checked her horoscope before and then ask her what her sign is.

No matter what she says, always follow up with “Hmmm. That’s interesting”

When she asks “Why?” say “Well, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but you know what they say about Pisces (or Aries, or Scorpio, or whatever her sign is)?”

By now she’ll be really interested. Follow up by saying “Pisces (Aries, etc.) women are the most sensual women out there.”

Watch her reaction, and then follow up with a story to get the conversation flowing. Here’s one I use:

“I know this because my ex girlfriend was a Pisces (Aries, whatever), and she was the most sensual woman you’ll ever meet. We used to have so much fun together, doing all sorts of wild things, she was totally open to doing anything. I used to think it was just her, but every Pisces woman I’ve dated has always been really fun. What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done?”

See how that works? You set it up so that you present her with a role you want her to adopt (being sensual and fun and open to anything), and show it in a positive light. And even if she doesn’t agree with your assessment of her sign, you’re getting her to share with you what wild stuff she HAS done.

One thing leads to another, and you are talking with her!

Typically, you’ll want to have three good openers to use one after another, all with follow-up stories to get the conversation flowing.

How To Deal With Rejection, Part 1

If there’s one thing every single guy on the face of the planet has experienced at one time or another,it’s rejection.

Who hasn’t fallen for a girl, only to find out that she doesn’t feel the same way about you?

Indeed, rejection can be extremely painful to experience. It’s almost as if every time a girl gives you the brush off, she’s saying there’s something wrong with you!

And let’s face it – nobody likes to feel like they aren’t good enough.

And most guys handle the prospect of it in ways that make things far worse with the situation.

Normally they’ll run from it, or get angry over it.

The worst thing you could do when rejection happens is try to go along with the girl’s sentiments and try and “trick” her that you’re not interested.

This usually leads to the “just being her friend” gambit, where the lovelorn man pretends to be the girl’s friend, just so he can somehow try and desperately salvage the situation.

But as we all know, this trick rarely, if ever, works.

So what are your options? Well, you could just walk away and look for a girl who is more open to you. Or, you can try and turn that rejection into attraction.

If you choose to do the latter, be ready to bust your rear. It won’t be easy, but perhaps it will be rewarding.

I’ll tell you more in part two.

Creating Attraction With Women

Almost any guy is going to want to know – how do I attract women?

Let’s face it – we’re not all blessed with the good looks of people like Brad Pitt. Some of us are just average looking guys. Others are below average looking. Heck – even GOOD LOOKING guys can have trouble attracting women!

So what does that mean for all of us who want to get a woman all hot-and-bothered? Well, the logical conclusion is this:

Attraction cannot depend on what you look like!

Obsessing over your looks (or lack of them) is a sure-fire way to take yourself out of the attraction game before things have even gotten started. Understand that you need to take care of yourself and tailor your appearance as well as you possibly can. But short of extensive and painful plastic surgery, you can’t change what you look like.

So if you can’t change it – deal with it!

Luckily, there’s more to attraction than just your physical features. Accept that you look like the way you are, and deal with the things you CAN change, and actually have control over.

See, the “attraction equation” is more than just about being a good looking guy. It’s about your attitude, your intellect, and your social skills and status.

1. Attitude Is Everything

Having the right attitude is essential to generating attraction. Confidence is key, here. Being secure in who you are and what you’re after is a great way to show people that you’re someone they will want to meet and hang out with.

And with the right attitude, your body language and non-verbal communication will naturally broadcast to those around you that you are an attractive person.

2. Engage In Intelligent Conversation

Conversation is the cornerstone of attraction. Your words can help lead people into the type of emotion you want them to feel. But more than that, if you can engage in good conversation, you will captivate anyone you’re talking to.

You can go about this in two different ways: by asking questions and listening intently to the answers, or by storytelling.

Stories are the best way to make people experience emotion. Everyone loves stories, and if you have good ones to tell, people will love talking to you.

3. Master Your Social Skills

Being attractive is about interacting with people in the right way. You need to be fun, entertaining, and a good conversationalist.

You also have to know what’s appropriate in certain social situations. Being loud and boisterous at a fancy dinner party may not be a good thing to do. Always be aware of the environment you’re in and act accordingly.

Be laid back, and try not to take things too seriously. Getting insulted or frustrated when things aren’t going as you planned is a sure fire way to alienate the people you’re trying to attract. Allow yourself room to mess up if necessary, and keep from being insulting or rude.

But most of all – have fun! The best way to be social and attract people to you is to have a good time. People love having a good time! In fact, they will seek you out if you can be the source of their fun.

4. Cultivate A High Social Status

More than anything else, having a high social status will attract more people to you than you know what to do with. And social status doesn’t have to have anything to do with how much money you make or how good looking you are. In fact, social status can be completely manufactured!

By being the life of the party, or dominating the conversation, you can show people you’re someone who demands attention. By being funny or witty, intelligent, commanding, and confident, people will naturally defer to you.

If you can pull this off, you’ll be able to parlay it into a position of authority amongst your peers. And over time, people will see this happening consistently, and your social status will grow higher.

A combination of these factors will allow you to attract any woman you choose, and looks won’t even play into it!

How An Unattractive Man Ends Up Dating An Attractive Woman

It’s an unfortunate, but undeniable fact that everybody has felt ugly at some point in time. Be it a model, actress, or just the most beautiful woman in the world, they all have a something that makes them feel unattractive.

Men do this, and it isn’t helped by their visual nature. We end up critical of our own appearance, just as much as women.

Maybe it’s the fact that we are too short, or fat, or bald, or old? There are any number of factors that make us feel “unworthy” of the attentions of beautiful women.

But if that was the case – no one would ever be able to attract a woman at all!

In fact, the next time you’re out, take a mental note of every guy you see with an attractive girl, and try and appraise whether or not you think that guy’s looks are worthy of the girl he’s with.

Sure, sometimes you’ll find a guy who’s with a girl and they are both fine credits to their species. But most of the time, what you’ll find is the guys with really hot and appealing women range from “average” to “ugly” in the looks department.

That’s because beauty – in men – is the exception, not the standard.

But more than that, men rely on factors OTHER than their looks to help attract women to them.

There are three major factors that most men try and utilize to the best of their ability when attracting new and exciting women to them. They are:

1. Wealth

2. Social Status

3. Personality

Let’s go through these one at a time…

The first factor, wealth, is fairly obvious. Women like rich men. Understand that being a “provider” is what this represents. You’ll get their attention for sure, and what woman doesn’t want to be secure and pampered?

However, there is a big problem with this tactic. First of all, not everyone is rich or wealthy, so this factor is reserved for the few that are. More than that, women often feel like you’re trying to “bribe” or “impress” them with your wealth, and because of that, they will treat you more like an ATM machine with feet, rather than a loving, caring, mate.

Understand, there is nothing really wrong with using financial success as a tactic. Be aware of the pitfalls and make sure you actually have the money to do so.

The second factor is social status. Women are very attuned to the social hierarchies of things, so having a “high status” around women definitely makes any man more attractive.

This status comes from holding a certain position of power. It could be an important job, some type of fame, or just the esteem of your peers.

However, one of the difficulties with this is that you need to be able to display social status. You can’t just tell someone “I’m a very important person” and have them believe it. They have to get a sense of it themselves, and sometimes your situation is not conducive to communicating this (like meeting a woman on the street for instance. She has no idea who you are!).

Also – not everyone has a high social status. Some people are content with maintaining a medium to low level status. Where does that leave these people?

With the THIRD factor – that of Personality. The thing I like about personality is that it’s something EVERYONE can use to attract the kind of women they desire, and it doesn’t matter how much money you make or what your social situation is like.

Having an attractive personality is the best way for “average” or “unattractive” men to get women interested in them. Being able to make a woman laugh will turn her on more than a guy with big muscles and a full head of hair.

Understand that women are slaves to their emotions, and your personality is the method by which you trigger emotions inside a woman!

The better your personality, the better you’re able to make a woman feel.

And your personality is something that can be changed and cultivated over time. You can make yourself into anything you want to be! It’s truely amazing how some “losers” can become “rockstars” in the eyes of their friends and the women they like just by tweaking their personality a little bit.

So how do you do this?

The first step is to really work on your confidence. The more confident you are, the better you’re able to display your personality.

Working on your social skills will also help you to be relaxed and have fun around women. This will create new opportunities for attraction.

And creating a strong emotional ties to you is the best way to create an emotional attachment. Learning to do this is your best bet.

When you use these three techniques, you’ll be able to gain the fancy of any woman you wish – no matter WHAT you look like.

A Man In Love: Why He Shouldn’t Do It

Love is one of the most powerful emotions on the planet. We all strive to experience love during our lifetime, and we really want to find a great woman who will make us feel incredible.

However, this desire to feel this way can be overwhelming, so much so that men will hurtle headlong into it. And oftentimes, later on, they’ll be hurt by it.

A study done in the 1980s revealed that 90% of all relationships are ended by women. This means that 90% of men who’ve been in relationships have, at one time or another, had their hearts broken.

And when this happens, it can be a painful, gut-wrenching process. Anyone who’s ever been dumped can tell you this.

Because of that, many men try and safeguard themselves by shutting down emotionally. They can still feel attraction and lust for women, but their hearts are always guarded to try and keep themselves from experiencing that hurt of being dumped again.

Women love to complain that men are never “in touch” with their feelings, and that they tend to be “emotionally distant” in relationships. But when a guy is trying to keep from getting hurt, it’s pretty hard to open themselves up to their partner.

So this presents us with a problem.

Falling in love too quickly opens yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. But never allowing yourself to experience love for your partner can sabotage your relationships.

So what’s a guy to do?

The answer to this is to keep your guard up early on, and then after the relationship is established, allow yourself to open up.

If being hurt frightens you, understand that you might, eventually, become so paralyzed by it that you miss out on the joy of being in love. And you’ll miss out on a great treasure that life has to offer.

Men need to allow themselves to be open to their partners.

The problem is that too many guys do this TOO EARLY.

They meet a girl they like, they begin to imagine being with her, get themselves all worked up about actually believing they are “in love” – even before they’ve gone on the first date!

Then, the girl gets weirded out because she is no where near as familiar witht he idea of being “in love” with the guy, as he is with her, and she REJECTS him.

And then the guy gets hurt, and becomes miserable.

To avoid this situation, you have to learn the process of creating trust and comfort around women BEFORE you allow yourself to fall in love with them.

You can like a girl as much as you want, but you must keep reminding yourself not to get too attached until she’s proven she feels the same way about you.

Keeping a girl at arm’s distance early on helps you to screen her. It helps you see if she’s the type of person YOU really want to be with.

It helps to guard your emotions so you don’t get hurt. But more than that, it gives you the time needed to start forming genuine bonds and emotional connections with the girl.

Once those emotional connections begin to form and strengthen, the girl will begin to open up to you. At this point, you can allow yourself to open up to her as well, and give yourself permission to fall in love if the girl is the one for you.

Is there a risk you might still get hurt and rejected? Sure. That risk will ALWAYS be there.

But the risk is greatly LESSENED when you ease into the situation, and actually DO THE WORK to form a strong relationship, as opposed to rushing in already pronouncing your undying love for the woman.

Falling in love is great; falling in love too soon is a recipe for disaster.

How To Win You Ex-Girlfriend Back

Sometimes, something great is right there in our lives, and yet we fail to see it until it’s gone. In some cases, this thing is a she, in the form of an old flame.

It’s tough when a woman you really like makes the decision that it’s not working out, and moves on. It leaves a man with two choices…

1. Move on and find a new girl

2. Try and recover the girl he lost

Certainly, the better option is the first one, since people usually break up for a reason. Trying to convince someone who doesn’t want to be with you that they should be is an uphill battle, and one where you most likely will lose.

But that doesn’t stop us from trying, does it? Because typically, the first thing a guy does after he gets dumped (and after moping around a bit) is try to figure out how to get back the girl who dumped him.

Sometimes, break ups are a good thing. But sometimes, they happen because of reasons that could have been fixed or avoided all together.

If you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, you need to figure out why the relationship ended for her in the first place. Typically, what happens is that there is some type of loss of communication or trust between the two parties.

More often than not, when there is a situation that arises from communication, she’ll feel neglected or ignored. It’s going to be frustrating to her, as she’ll feel like she’s not really being listened to.

When it’s a loss of trust, it’s because her partner usually displayed some type of behavior that makes her doubt her love for him. It might be cheating on her with another woman (or suspicions of cheating), or lying and deceiving her in some way.

When this happens, intimacy can be lost, and the girl will feel the need to move on.

So after you figure out what caused the break up, you’ll need to understand WHY. So if you determine she was feeling neglected by you, you need to figure out why you were neglecting her (or at least why she felt you were!).

Then you need to let her know that you understand why she broke up with you. This is probably one of the hardest things for guys to do, because it seems like you’re accepting the blame for messing things up – but its important that women understand you know why they broke up with you, because is shows that you are paying attention to their side of things.

Once you make it clear you understand her side of things, and what caused her to break up with you, you are clearing the way for you to re-build intimacy with her.

When this happens, you’ll want to start reminding her why she got into a relationship with you in the first place. Be the charming guy you were when you first met her. Talk about your past dates, your good times together. Focus on all the happy moments the two of you shared.

Try and re-kindle what got her attracted to you in the first place, and nurture that. Don’t be too aggressive, but remind her how great of a guy you are.

If all goes well, after a period of time you should make your move. If she feels like she’s finally starting to remember why she was with you to begin with, then bring up getting back together. Let her know that it will be different this time, and that her happiness is a priority for you.

You have to remember that you can’t really push the issue of getting back together on her. Just try making your intentions clear and allow her the opportunity to give it a shot. This is as good a way as possible to get her back.

Waiting On Her To Call You Back: How Long Is Too Long?

You went through the steps, and gotten a girl’s number. You call, and getting no answer, you leave a message.

Here’s where the problem starts.

You’ve essentially put the ball in her court, and if you call her back too soon, you’re going to look desperate. Wait too long to call her back, and you run the risk of having her lose interest.

This begs the question – how long should you wait for a girl to call you back?

If you watch a movie like “Swingers,” all about young guys in the club scene, the common knowledge there is to wait 3 days to call back.

The logic here is that 3 days seems like enough time so that you don’t come off as some type of desperate freak. But when it comes to getting a return phone call, you should be thinking about ANYTHING but yourself!

Understand – it’s up to the girl whether or not she will call you back. So if you understand where she’s coming from, you’ll have a better idea of when to try again.

For example, did you get a feeling that the girl was really interested in you when she gave you the number? Try to remember. Sometimes a woman will hand you a number just to get rid of you.

Knowing the girl was into you is a big factor, because you have more leeway with someone who likes you than you do with someone who’s neutral or on the fence.

Remember that sometimes, life happens, and she’ll be so busy she can’t call you. Then when they get time, they might be too tired, or just not wanting to talk.

Remember – talking to someone on the phone is a time commitment, and it also takes mental energy that can sometimes be hard to expend. Calling a girl on a weekday, when most people have jobs and responsibilities to attend to, can affect callback time.

Here are some tips when it comes to playing the phone game…

Have something ready to talk about, if you have to leave a message. Just saying “hi” and telling her to call you back won’t cut it. Give a reason to call you back. Recall a prior conversation or point of interest. Tell her you just heard a funny joke you’d like to share with her. It doesn’t matter, as long as she knows there’s something to look forward to when she calls.

Give her a day to call you back. Don’t wait three days, but don’t call her back an hour later either. If she doesn’t get back to you in a day’s time, she might have just gotten busy or sidetracked. Call again the next day.

Use text message reminders before the next callback. Unlike leaving voice messages, texting a girl often doesn’t come off as desperate. In fact, they can serve as good reminders, and more women will text you back rather than call you back. After your message, text her around three hours later. You can say something like:

“Hey – haven’t heard back from you yet. You must be super-busy! Or are you leading some strange double life I don’t know about? lol.”

Texting little things like this just keep you on her radar.

Remember, don’t overdo the calling. I’ll give a girl three calls. If she doesn’t call back or doesn’t text, I move on to the next one. I don’t waste my time on women who don’t reply. There are too many out there that do.

Ice-Breakers And Conversation Starters With Women

The sad fact is that most guys are afraid of approaching women and starting conversations.

It’s funny, even the term “ice breaker” conveys this notion. You are having to warm a woman up. That assumes that they are going to react coldly to your approach.

In fact, most men just assume that girls don’t want to talk to them! They feel like they are “bothering” a girl by approaching her, and chances are, they’ll get rejected.

The truth is that most women are actually open and receptive to being approached by a good man, and are happy to engage in conversation!

This may go against what most men think, but it’s the honest truth. As long as a guy isn’t desperate, needy, or creepy, he can successfully approach and start a conversation with almost any woman.

Just remember that most women will respond somewhere in the range of “neutral” to “positive” if you say almost ANYTHING to them. In fact, you have to work really hard to get a bad reaction from a woman!

Surefire ways to get a negative reaction:

1.) Starting off the conversation scared. If you are scared, they are going to get nervous too, and will eventually just want to get away from you. Confidence is key.

2.) Using bad pick up lines. They may seem funny on TV and in the movies, but the fact is that bad pick up lines are bad for a reason!

3.) Being too aggressive. Women certainly don’t like being objectified. If you cross the line with your flirting, you’ll insult her.

As long as you can keep from doing these three things, you’ll be safely in the “neutral” to “positive” range with a woman.

This means – whatever you say to start the conversation will more than likely work! Just be sure you ask an engaging question, and not just a “yes or no” question. Also, stay away from the boring topics all guys use, like “What’s your name?” and “What do you do?”

Instead, try asking her opinion on something. What you’re wearing for instance. Girls love to give advice. Ask her about something timely that’s going on in pop culture – what celebrity is dating who? Ask her about the arts – I have yet to meet a girl who doesn’t like music!

Just make sure that whatever you ask the girl will lead into a deeper conversation, because that will help you break through any hesitancy to talk.

That should get you started.

The point is that there’s a way to put yourself in a situation that naturally and easily sparks conversations. You just need to be ready when it happens.

And if the girl doesn’t want to talk to you, don’t sweat it! Keep trying until you find one that does. But you’ll discover that most girls are open to talking to you about anything.

Keep working on this, and you’ll get past the anxiety of talking to attractive women.