Attraction 101 – Traits In A Man That Attract Women
March 28, 2009 by Marc Sandford
Filed under Dating Tips
What advice is best for attracting the opposite sex? How would I know for sure that I can believe that this information works? If you want to know how to attract the opposite sex, you might refer to the science of evolution to get the answers.
For now, we’ll put aside what women are telling us about what they’re looking for in a man. Rather, we will observe the type of men that they really choose. The discrepancy between what they’re telling us and their actual choices for a mate is revealing.
There are women who say they want a man who listens to them and values their opinions. But then go out with guys that control the conversation. Some women say they would like a sensitive and gentle man. But they’ll date a guy who’s got a lot of money or has a large muscular physique.
Why are there differences between what they say they would like and their actual choices? To understand this, you will need to understand what attraction actually is and the role that evolution plays in why we have it.
First you need to know that attraction is not a thing that can be controlled or programmed. Women and men have very little if any control over sexual attraction. It’s completely instinctual and was wired into us by evolution for the purpose of propagating our species.
Men are interested in women that are healthy and fertile. This is the reason why women who are youthful with curves of a certain proportion are considered attractive by most men. Youth and a shapely body are the signs of high fertility. Some guys might say that they’re more interested in other qualities, but they’re still driven by instinctual urges toward fertile women.
With sexual attraction, women are driven by their base instincts as well. Women are drawn to men that can provide for and ensure the survival of her children. Thus they are attracted to strong and vigorous men who are of high status. A man of high status who is fit is more suited to provide for her and her children.
Men with high status tend to be the leaders who exhibit great confidence. These are the alpha males and are referred to by women as ‘real men’. This is the reason why muscles, wealth, or power will always beat niceness or the good listener every time.
When all of humanity where hunter/gatherers, being a good listener or being nice to our women was irrelevant to survival. What truly mattered more than all else was having the vigor and backbone to bring home the bacon. Only these qualities made it possible for a man to be a good provider.
Now you know why women are sexually indifferent to nice guys. Or men that have no backbone and lack leadership ability. These are not attractive attributes for a guy.
Not all men have big muscles but they aren’t necessary if you can project fitness and strength. This is done by the clothes you wear, your posture, the way you walk, and your level of physical fitness. You can also project strength in your behavior. A wimp is definitely not sexy.
Many people may object that these qualities are shallow. In a certain sense, that’s correct. But the mechanism of attraction is not a very deep thing. It’s very primitive and basic. It’s a powerful driving force that has propagated our species for a very long time.
Although women are attracted to the qualities discussed here, they aren’t much good for keeping a relationship strong for the long term. However, that’s a topic for another time. Remember, before a relationship is possible you will have to attract someone first.