3 Accidental Insults You Might Be Handing Your Partner
November 10, 2009 by Shawn Wilson
Filed under Dating Sites
We’ve all had situations with our partner or significant other in which we mean to say something nice, but it’s perceived as the total opposite. No amounts of back tracking, apologies or explanations are going to fix it. You didn’t mean it the way it was taken, but now you’re stuck with it.
Here are three of the more common “oops!” insults, how to avoid them and how to fix the situation if they slip out:
1) “You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever dated”
Obviously you said to be complimentary; this person really is one in a million. However, all your date will be thinking about is every other fantastic person you’ve ever been out with and how he/she doesn’t measure up. Remember this; never compare your current sweetie to ones from your past, even if you intend to place him or her at the top of the list. Your partner would just like to pretend that he or she is your first (at least at the beginning of your relationship), so just go along with it.
If you’ve already made this awkward compliment blunder, if can usually be easily corrected by reassuring your significant other that they are light years ahead of people in your past and then give a few sincere, him-/her-specific compliments. Don’t lie and don’t be overly wordy and trip over yourself. Just be comforting…after a harsh moment of thinking about you and other people, you love might just need a minute to remember that they are the apple of your eye.
2) “Size, schmise, it really doesn’t matter”
OMG, no, you did not just say that! People, don’t we know by now that this is never okay? Okay, okay, I’ve slipped up and said it before. You’ve said it before. Your grandmother probably said it. And I’m guessing that every time, it was received the same way: awkward, sudden insecurity and a perceived insult against his manhood.
The frustrating thing is (barring cases of exceptional size in either direction), this is usually true; size isn’t the most important package attribute. But there’s really no telling this to guys. If you tell them size doesn’t matter, they think you’re making them feel better for having a pitiful part. Even if they don’t. The best fix if you made this slip of the lip? Quickly explain what you mean, don’t dwell on it and probably give your partner little extra attention.
3) “I can’t believe you got the job!”
Now, maybe only the most insecure of people would see this as an insult. But hey, a lot of people are insecure and it doesn’t make them bad people…you just have to be careful. Make sure a compliment is truly a compliment. Of course they got the job! Hell yes, they got that job! They are going to kick that job’s ass and show it who’s boss! Those are compliments.
When your response to your partner’s good news is one of surprise, they’ll think you doubt their ability. It may be annoying, but if you think about it you’ll see that their reaction is justified. You’re supposed to be their biggest supporter. You shouldn’t need to be won over.
This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of professional dating posts.
healthy tea (1)
Usually, it has one of two senses: It can mean “preoccupied, absorbed in” – “He was too prepossessed to notice the interruption.” Or it can mean “biased” (usually favorably): “The judge is prepossessed in the plaintiff’s favor.”
Thanks, all very valuable advice. I myself have been in the ‘size’ situation a few times and I agree it’s very awkward.
Till then,
Jean