Attraction: Will It Hold Up?

I’ve been reading a lot lately about the role of attraction in our relationships. I’m sure you’ve been in this situation. You are dating a sizzling hot woman, things look great, and you are having fun. Then you realize, after some time, that you aren’t physically attracted to her any longer and things just fall apart.

How does this happen, and how do we prevent it?

Understand that there are several types of attraction. There is the physical part, which everyone knows. That tends to fade over time, no matter how good looking she is. And to make things worse, we often tend to focus on what we DON’T like about a person, rather than what we do.

For a man, I think it’s hardwiring. We’re born to be problem solvers. So we look at what we don’t like about us and try to fix it. Unfortunately, a bit of that thinking leaks over into our relationships. It can be a bad thing, but know this – physical attraction can be resparked, and it’s a wonderful thing when it does.

We’ll get to that later. Let’s look at the other components of attraction. The next part has to do with physical closeness. A close companion to the first part, it has to do with exciting our sense of touch.

Have you ever been with a woman who merely had to touch you to get you excited? It can be exhilarating. The touch says she wants you, is attracted to you, and later on, loves you.

It’s a reassuring feeling, and serves to deepen our caring about the other person.

The next part is tricky. It has to do with our competence. In any relationship, you will have some sort of balance between the aspects each person brings forward. In general, you have people of the same “caliber” attracted to each other. It’s a matter of what is important to them – intelligence, physical prowess, social skills, etc.

A celebrity couple is a great example of how this works. Both sides have reassurance in their own right, due to their stardom. The average guy off the streets would be massively intimidated. Not so with each other, so the fit is natural. This is the least influential quality I believe. Some celebrities are more grounded, and some “normal” people just don’t care or aren’t intimidated by the whole thing.

The next part is that of mutual liking. Simply put, if they like you, and are not a needy type, odds are that you’ll like them more than if the feeling wasn’t reciprocated.

The last part is the complementary effect you have towards the other person. This can be confusing. Take a look at how you “complement” someone in a relationship. You might have similar likes, but you might behave in opposing manners. Or vice versa. It’s how you work together as a whole. How do you mesh together?

Now that we’ve outlined what compromises attraction, let’s look at what we can do to keep it going.

The first thing to remember is this: if it is going to fade, it will fade. That goes for either person. You can try and keep them attracted, but it might not always work.

On the physical end, there is much you can do. The first is obvious – physically try and keep yourself in shape. Many people slip during a relationship, and get out of shape. Or fail to take care of themselves. Your mate will take note of this. A bit of maintenance goes a long way.

Next, try to be objective about your relationship, and focus on what you DO like about your mate physically. This can’t stop physical attraction from fading but you’ll appreciate them more.

Another part of this is much harder to change, but it helps most of these aspects. Allow her to be herself. Sounds simple, but we find ways to control, and keep a firm grip on the other person. Often, out of fear that they’ll leave us. It can be a self fulfilling prophecy. If you show yourself to be confident, and have taken a great interest in her as a person, she’ll find it hard to stray.

Just allow her to do things that allow her to be her. If she’s a flirt, let her! If you’ve done what you need to do, she’ll come back to you.

As far as liking goes, if you do your diligence, and take an interest in her as a person, you’ll find that you have someone who will remain loyal to you, and attracted as well.

Taking the time in finding ways to mesh, in the early going, will do wonders as far as attraction goes. Plus, you’ll be way ahead of the curve. I’ll go out on a limb and say that most relationships fail due to the inability to reconcile their differences in a civil manner. This is the root of being able to complement others! Thrive off the energy created by differences, instead to fighting it or hating it!

Work diligently and you can sustain attraction for years, even decades. Look at elderly couples if you don’t believe me. Work hard and focus on the good!

Beyond The Attraction

I’ve been reading a lot lately about the role of attraction in our relationships. I’m sure you’ve been in this situation. You are dating a sizzling hot woman, things look great, and you are having fun. Then you realize, after some time, that you aren’t physically attracted to her any longer and things just fall apart.

You’ve seen it happen, and you might be wondering why it does. Let’s look at this.

There are several components to attraction. The one we all know is the physical side of things – how she looks, in other words. While it is what generally reels us in, it is also the first thing to fade when the loss of attraction starts. Sometimes we make matters worse by focusing on what we don’t like about the person, to boot. This only makes matters worse.

For a man, I think it’s hardwiring. We’re born to be problem solvers. So we look at what we don’t like about us and try to fix it. Unfortunately, a bit of that thinking leaks over into our relationships. It can be a bad thing, but know this – physical attraction can be resparked, and it’s a wonderful thing when it does.

We’ll get to that later. Let’s look at the other components of attraction. The next part has to do with physical closeness. A close companion to the first part, it has to do with exciting our sense of touch.

Have you ever been with a woman who merely had to touch you to get you excited? It can be exhilarating. The touch says she wants you, is attracted to you, and later on, loves you.

It’s a reassuring feeling, and serves to deepen our caring about the other person.

The next part is tricky. It has to do with our competence. In any relationship, you will have some sort of balance between the aspects each person brings forward. In general, you have people of the same “caliber” attracted to each other. It’s a matter of what is important to them – intelligence, physical prowess, social skills, etc.

Take a celebrity couple, for example. They are provided the reassurance that stardom brings on a daily basis, so they don’t intimidate each other, at least not on a massive scale. A person off the streets can’t say the same thing, most of the time. Luckily, this is the least important and influential part of attraction.

Mutual liking is the next component, and it’s easy to see. If someone likes you, you tend to like them more than if they didn’t reciprocate the feeling. The exception is if that person turns out to be needy, then things get a bit scary in that aspect.

The last part can be confusing. You have to be complementary in some way to the other person. This is not to say you like everything they like, but that is part of it. As they say, opposites attract. So look at how you complement another person – do you share beliefs? Is one person shy, and the other person a bit of a live wire? Overall, look at how you mesh… it will all make sense.

Now that we’ve outlined what compromises attraction, let’s look at what we can do to keep it going.

The first thing to remember is this: if it is going to fade, it will fade. That goes for either person. You can try and keep them attracted, but it might not always work.

On the physical end, there is much you can do. The first is obvious – physically try and keep yourself in shape. Many people slip during a relationship, and get out of shape. Or fail to take care of themselves. Your mate will take note of this. A bit of maintenance goes a long way.

Next, try to be objective about your relationship, and focus on what you DO like about your mate physically. This can’t stop physical attraction from fading but you’ll appreciate them more.

Another part of this is much harder to change, but it helps most of these aspects. Allow her to be herself. Sounds simple, but we find ways to control, and keep a firm grip on the other person. Often, out of fear that they’ll leave us. It can be a self fulfilling prophecy. If you show yourself to be confident, and have taken a great interest in her as a person, she’ll find it hard to stray.

Just allow her to do things that allow her to be her. If she’s a flirt, let her! If you’ve done what you need to do, she’ll come back to you.

As far as liking goes, if you do your diligence, and take an interest in her as a person, you’ll find that you have someone who will remain loyal to you, and attracted as well.

Taking the time in finding ways to mesh, in the early going, will do wonders as far as attraction goes. Plus, you’ll be way ahead of the curve. I’ll go out on a limb and say that most relationships fail due to the inability to reconcile their differences in a civil manner. This is the root of being able to complement others! Thrive off the energy created by differences, instead to fighting it or hating it!

With some hard work and changes in you focus, you can allow attraction to expand for years or even decades. Take a look at an elderly couple for proof. Focus on the good, and good luck!

Making Her Resistance Fade Away

When dating, you will probably run into some resistance when it’s time to get amorous. This won’t always happen, but it’ll occur enough to where you’ll need to know what to do about it.

When it does happen, most guys think they are being rejected. They won’t try to do anything about it, and will just going along, normally getting down on themselves.

What they don’t know is that resistance can be overcome – and you can do it without being a jerk or forcing the girl to do something she doesn’t want to do.

Typically, there are 2 causes of this type of resistance.

The first cause is LOGICAL. This is typically the easiest type of resistance to overcome. Logical resistance is where women think up objections to the two of you getting together. These objections sometimes include:

1. Are we moving too fast? I don’t want him to think I’m easy.

2. I don’t want to get pregnant or catch a disease.

3. What will my friends think if I hook up with this guy?

4. How do I know he’s not just trying to use me?

5. I really like this guy and I don’t want to screw it up by sleeping with him too soon.

And on, and on, and on.

The second cause is EMOTIONAL. This resistance stems from feelings that suddenly flare up. She might feel afraid, or insecure, or nervous, and give into these feelings, and come up with some type of excuse to do so.

Obviously, guys have a hard time with the emotional objections because they are usually oblivious to what the girl is feeling to begin with!

So how do we solve this problem? What is the way you deal with this resistance?

This resistance shows up because we haven’t done things right. Odds are, we moved way too fast, and the girl became skittish, then shut down.

All resistance, whether it be logical or emotional, stems from a lack of 2 critical things:

1.) TRUST

2.) COMFORT

When a woman trusts you and is completely comfortable with you, you will never experience any resistance from her. EVER. It is only when these things are lacking that resistance rears it’s ugly head.

So in order to prevent resistance from occuring, you really have to focus on getting the girl you’re with to trust you and feel comfortable with you.

When you do meet with resistance, it’s important to work on developing more trust and comfort with the girl.

So how does one create trust and comfort?

Well, the two go hand in hand. If you can create one, the other will follow. The first way you can do this is to be relaxed and have fun when you’re with the girl. Cracking jokes, laughing, and having a good time will relax her and make her feel comfortable around you.

Refrain from judging her and other people too harshly. Lack of trust and comfort usually stems from being judged and criticized. You need to let her know that she can make mistakes around you, and you won’t punish her for them.

Make her feel safe. Let her know you’re there for her when she needs you, and that you care for her. This goes a long way towards building trust and comfort.

You have to make sure not to get upset about any resistance. This can make things worse, and will not help you. Talk to her about it. She needs to see you acknowledge the problem. If she can voice it, she can work through it.

It might take awhile, but just let it. Eventually she’ll get comfortable enough, and the resistance will just fade away.

Speed Dating Success

Have you tried, or considered, Speed Dating, or any of the other versions out there? You might think the whole thing is ridiculous, but believe it or not, it’s a lot of fun. I had thoughts of the scene in 40 Year Old Virgin in my head, but truth be told, it was nothing like that. Lucky for you, I have some tips that will help you in your endeavors.

Before you go, there are a few things you’ll want to do. The first is simple… hygiene! You don’t have much time to make the impression, so the women will be inspecting you much closer. Everything counts!

Clean yourself up, trim your nails neat, clip that nose hair. But once it is done, when you are ready to walk out that door, be DONE with it, save for a pack of mints for the dating itself.

The same thing goes for your clothing. Clean obviously, but dress to impress. I wouldn’t go too showy, just make yourself look good. Polish your shoes, hit the jacket with the lint brush, and take care of any details.

Another thing to do is practice before you go. Not just some lines, or routines, but spontaneity. How does one practice that? By saying what immediately comes to mind when having a conversation. That sounds crazy, I know, but practice with a friend. The result is that you sound more genuine. Put in a bit of time with this, it’ll help.

I tried something new lately – using the first date to warm up. Luckily, she wasn’t beautiful, and it allowed me to make as many mistakes as necessary to get in a groove. The rest of the evening got much easier. I also found it was great, because I tried it when I was out of town, and it allowed me to get a feel for the women in a new area. I went to an 8 Minute Dating in Edmonton while out on business, and landed a really easy date with a beautiful woman.

Focus on bringing positive energy from your end. Amp it up, and if you are having fun, people will catch on to this and have fun themselves. They’ll remember you, and your odds will be upped dramatically of landing the next date.

When you do that, you’ll also be able to take advantage of the other guy’s mistakes. Trust me, they’ll make a lot. The biggest is being uptight and nervous. If you can avoid that, you’ll look like a million bucks after they’ve dealt with some nervous, twitchy, uncomfortable guy. It helps when you smile while doing this, and relax. You’ll allow them to do the same, and fun will happen!

During the conversation, you’ll do far better if you show genuine interest in them, but as well, be ready to carry the conversation when they ask you a question. A good conversation should be back and forth, and neither side should feel drilled.

Also, make sure not to drink too much. This will blow your chances faster than anything. If they wanted a drunk guy, they’d hit a slum bar and do just fine. Don’t be that guy.

When the time is about to run out, and you are having fun, go ahead and “close” with her. Let her know you had a great time, and that you’d love to continue the conversation. If she appears to be having fun, it should be very easy to get the next date with her.

Just remember, it’s all about the first impression, and having fun, in this short period of time that you have with her. Work with what I’ve given you, put in your time, and you’ll do well while speed dating.

Why A Woman Plays Head Games

Sometimes when I ask a woman out, I’ll find out that she will make up some strange excuse to not give me her number.

Does that seem familiar?

“Why don’t you give me yours, and I’ll call you instead”

“I don’t give out my number”

“I lost my phone and my number is disconnected and the dog ate my homework and there was an accident…”

I think you get the picture.

But the funny thing is, later on, if you impress them enough, they will actually OFFER you their number! So why is this? Why do women play head games when you ask for their number?

Understand that women get a LOT of guys asking for their contact information. Because of this, women need to have ways of quickly filtering through and disqualifying the unacceptable candidates.

They need quick, easy ways to figure out if you’re either the real deal or a wuss that gives up at the first sign of resistance.

So, here are a few things to remember:

1) An attractive woman is used to being asked for her number quite a bit. She’ll have a bunch of men approaching her, so it comes with the territory.

2) Given the above, if you got asked several times a day for your number, you’d probably make up some excuses yourself.

3) The excuses and “Why don’t you give me yours” type responses weed out about 95% of the losers that have no spine and no persistence.

Whatever you do, don’t be the type of guy who just gives into these lame ways women test you. If you’re READY for this type of thing in advance, and you KNOW what you’re going to say and do when it happens, AND you don’t answer with a lame, needy response, you increase your chances of getting the number DRAMATICALLY.

So what should you do when a woman pulls this type of thing with you?

CALL HER ON IT!

Nothing puts women in a more awkward position than when a man calls her on her lies. This is a great way to build respect and make yourself stand out from the other losers who approach her.

Saying something as simple as:

“C’mon, don’t give me that. Just write it down. I promise not to call you 10 times a day.”

You’ll probably be surprised at the effect that these responses have. They’ll allow you to power through those situations and get some results.

Put yourself in her shoes for a moment. If you looked fantastic, and had a bunch of attention thrown your way daily, wouldn’t you be choosy? And would you want a strong person, over a jellyfish? Probably. Confidence is attractive no matter what sex. Be the confident guy who isn’t going to put up with some kind of ridiculous game, and you will be the guy who gets her number.

And that is who you want to be.

Using The Horoscope To Find A Date

For a long time, I thought astrology was rather useless when it came to it’s influence on dating. I know, a lot of people love it, and some even base their dating decisions on it.

I’m a bit more practical, and I find that limiting myself to partners based on some archaic system to be rather uninviting.

However, this doesn’t mean that the horoscope is completely useless. There are several perks to having this come up in conversation. So even if you aren’t a believer in this sort of thing, it’s a great idea to know and understand some basics in this regard.

How does this work? Say you are chatting up a beautiful young woman you’ve met out some night. Things are going great and then she asks “what sign are you?” Generally, it’s prefaced or followed by her sign.

Now, you can answer and simply move on. If you know nothing about the signs, you might have gotten her to dismiss the idea of a date with you. No reasoning either, other than the horoscope told her not to.

Can you see why I don’t care for this system? But despite it’s limitations, it allows for a great opportunity while dating, even if the compatibility is negative!

The first thing that must happen is a simple understanding of your sign’s compatibility. I’m a Virgo. Who is Virgo’s love match? According to a website I browsed, the signs I’m compatible with are: Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio, Capricorn. I’m apparently incompatible with Geminis and Sagittarius. And my opposite is Pisces.

Now, this means very little to me, but to the woman who brought it up, it can mean a whole lot. So having some knowledge about this system will allow you to use it to YOUR advantage.

If the sign is compatible, and you know this… you can smile and keep going. You can also delve deeper by inquiring about her Moon sign and Rising sign. Do a search on those for more information. Rest assured, you have a great topic in which to delve further into, and you KNOW she is interested in that.

If you are NOT compatible, don’t be dismissive! Instead, talk to her about what a challenge it is to see if you can make something work despite what the horoscope says. You want to challenge her limiting frame by playing yourself off as something of a safe experiment. If you’ve had fun thus far, it’s a good chance she’ll be willing to go in that direction with you.

If you are neither incompatible, opposite, or compatible, you can continue with the conversation by asking her more about her sign. A longer time talking gives you a chance to make a better connection, especially if the conversation is engaging to both of you.

If you REALLY want to make this work best for you, take the time to get a basic understanding of each sign. That’s simple, as there are countless websites and books on the very subject. Gather some information, even if it is very little. It will pay off handsomely.

It may sound cliche, but it’s worth the time you’ll invest into it. Trust me.

How Do I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back Answered

How do I get my ex boyfriend back? This is a question that a lot of women out there finding themselves searching the answer for. Let me tell you something, There is not single answer for this question. There are many answers you can find on the internet and some of them are off too. Here is the best approach to get him back.

So you want your ex boyfriend back? Let me start by saying that your family and friends should not be on the list as far as advice in getting an ex boyfriend back is concerned. They are the wrong people to seek advice from because they will give you different opinions.

Look for specific information. Save yourself time and frustrations by learning from the experts. general tips on get ex back scattered everywhere may not work like you expect. Look for information that is only geared in helping a woman win an ex boyfriend back.

Get a guide that gives specific information on this topic. Men are a challenge sometimes and they can be hard to understand especially after a break up. If you want to understand men and know exactly how to deal with your ex boyfriend, Get a guide and learn how to do so. Some of these guides are cheap and affordable.

Don’t always do what your mind tells you in getting an ex boyfriend back. Often times women commit what we call common mistakes. I highly stress that you have a plan of action to win him back. Whatever you do is going to get him back or ruin everything.

How to get him back means that you should accept with what is going on.There is no need of obsessing about the break up or with your whole situation.Take it easy and move on with life.If you do this,you can find yourself more confident about getting an ex boyfriend back.

Ice-Breakers And Conversation Starters With Women

The sad fact is that most guys are afraid of approaching women and starting conversations.

It’s funny, even the term “ice breaker” conveys this notion. You are having to warm a woman up. That assumes that they are going to react coldly to your approach.

In fact, most men just assume that girls don’t want to talk to them! They feel like they are “bothering” a girl by approaching her, and chances are, they’ll get rejected.

The truth is that most women are actually open and receptive to being approached by a good man, and are happy to engage in conversation!

This may go against what most men think, but it’s the honest truth. As long as a guy isn’t desperate, needy, or creepy, he can successfully approach and start a conversation with almost any woman.

Just remember that most women will respond somewhere in the range of “neutral” to “positive” if you say almost ANYTHING to them. In fact, you have to work really hard to get a bad reaction from a woman!

Surefire ways to get a negative reaction:

1.) Starting off the conversation scared. If you are scared, they are going to get nervous too, and will eventually just want to get away from you. Confidence is key.

2.) Using bad pick up lines. They may seem funny on TV and in the movies, but the fact is that bad pick up lines are bad for a reason!

3.) Being too aggressive. Women certainly don’t like being objectified. If you cross the line with your flirting, you’ll insult her.

As long as you can keep from doing these three things, you’ll be safely in the “neutral” to “positive” range with a woman.

This means – whatever you say to start the conversation will more than likely work! Just be sure you ask an engaging question, and not just a “yes or no” question. Also, stay away from the boring topics all guys use, like “What’s your name?” and “What do you do?”

Instead, try asking her opinion on something. What you’re wearing for instance. Girls love to give advice. Ask her about something timely that’s going on in pop culture – what celebrity is dating who? Ask her about the arts – I have yet to meet a girl who doesn’t like music!

Just make sure that whatever you ask the girl will lead into a deeper conversation, because that will help you break through any hesitancy to talk.

That should get you started.

The point is that there’s a way to put yourself in a situation that naturally and easily sparks conversations. You just need to be ready when it happens.

And if the girl doesn’t want to talk to you, don’t sweat it! Keep trying until you find one that does. But you’ll discover that most girls are open to talking to you about anything.

Keep working on this, and you’ll get past the anxiety of talking to attractive women.

Should You Date A Married Woman?

There is something that has happened to me, that quite possibly has happened to you too. I’m out at a bar, nice night, and an even nicer woman approaches. Smoking hot, and she’s flirting up a storm. I’m in for a good night, or so I think. I notice something on her finger.

It’s her wedding ring.

When this first happened, there were a ton of questions going through my mind, but the first thing I wondered was what she was doing, being married and flirting like that.

This can and will happen though. Why do married people flirt? From what information I’ve gathered, it normally comes down to boredom and neglect, and with latter, revenge is often the motive.

Other times, the woman feels safe playing around with the risk, because she knows if things go too far, she can point at her ring, feign innocence and say “sorry, I’m married!” It can be annoying as hell, no doubt.

Now, I don’t think I have to go into detail about what a pissed off husband can do. I think everyone knows full well the risks. Even with some of the advice I’ll give in the article later, there will still be some risk involved. Be cautious first.

The next question comes down to the moral issue of it. Some guys don’t care who they are screwing around with. Others apply the golden rule – I wouldn’t want it done to me, so I don’t do it to others. I won’t tell you which morality to uphold, that’s up to you. Personally, I don’t deal with the situation, because I have an abundance of beautiful single women in my life.

That aside, if you DO decide to pursue a married woman, there are a few things you should be ready for. Here’s what they are, and how to handle any issues that arise.

First, you are dealing with a person who isn’t thinking in terms of fairness. She is putting herself first. Her husband wasn’t considered in the equation. Do you think you will be? It’s doubtful.

The best way to handle this is to be upfront, right out of the starting gates. It might seem like there is a risk of blowing it, but truly it’s better this way – you can get down to the meat of things.

If you ask “what’s with the ring?”, that will probably do. If you are impressing upon her that you don’t care she has it on, and if she’s seriously considering what she appears to be, things should keep going.

From there, you can gauge her answers. If she is treating you like a “safe flirt”, then it will probably be over then. She’ll find a way to withdraw from the whole thing. That’s fine, you saved yourself some time.

If it goes past that, then you’ll need to pay some attention to what she’s saying to you. She might ask if it matters to you. Obviously, if it’s gotten to this point, it doesn’t. Let her know, but also ask where it is going to go.

Some women might balk there too. You are eliminating some of the risk of the game for her, and that can be fun. It’s also forcing her to look directly at what she’s doing. Believe me though, it’s for the better.

If things continue, generally I’d say you are in. Just keep your eyes peeled. Watch for some guy who is staring at you, etc.

I’d also recommend taking the time to objectively analyze the situation. Is she secretive? Is she blabbering about how much she hates her husband? Try to get a general idea of WHY she’s doing this.

All the above is about safety measures. After that, if things are still going, I’d recommend keeping it to a quick fling. Odds are, it’s not going anywhere anyhow.

There is a chance she’ll reconcile. That means the relationship is probably done. And if she gets conscious of the whole thing, you might find yourself in the crosshairs of the angry husband. The best bet is to have as little attachment to her as possible. In all ways. You don’t want her knowing where you live, who you hang out with, etc.. Careful if the pickup spot was a regular hangout for you. You might have to quit going there.

And you won’t want to get emotionally attached either. It won’t end well, generally. You don’t know her well enough, nor him. Keep your hide intact and move on quickly. And no matter how tough you are, in the end run, it won’t be worth getting into it physically. Is it ever?

This is a lot of information to remember, but it is important. Overall, you have to put your well being first. A fling is never worth that kind of risk.

How To Deal With Last Minute Resistance

Sometimes, when you try to get physical with a woman, you’ll run into some resistance. It doesn’t happen all the time, but you should know what to do about it when it does happen.

When resistance occurs, most guys take it as a form of rejection and give up! They won’t even put up a fight, they’ll just go along with the resistance and let it win.

What they don’t know is that resistance can be overcome – and you can do it without being a jerk or forcing the girl to do something she doesn’t want to do.

Typically, there are 2 causes of this type of resistance.

The first cause is LOGICAL. This is typically the easiest type of resistance to overcome. Logical resistance is where women think up objections to the two of you getting together. These objections sometimes include:

1. Are we moving too fast? I don’t want him to think I’m easy.

2. I don’t want to get pregnant or catch a disease.

3. What will my friends think if I hook up with this guy?

4. How do I know he’s not just trying to use me?

5. I really like this guy and I don’t want to screw it up by sleeping with him too soon.

And on, and on, and on.

The second cause is EMOTIONAL. This resistance stems from feelings that suddenly flare up. She might feel afraid, or insecure, or nervous, and give into these feelings, and come up with some type of excuse to do so.

Men have a hard time with emotional issues. Why? Generally, it’s because they have no clue as to what the woman is feeling.

So what is there to do? How do we deal with that?

Well, the reason we’re getting resistance is because we haven’t done our job properly. At some point, we started to move too fast, and set off warning bells with the girl.

All resistance, whether it be logical or emotional, stems from a lack of 2 critical things:

1.) TRUST

2.) COMFORT

When a woman trusts you and is completely comfortable with you, you will never experience any resistance from her. EVER. It is only when these things are lacking that resistance rears it’s ugly head.

So in order to prevent resistance from occuring, you really have to focus on getting the girl you’re with to trust you and feel comfortable with you.

When you do meet with resistance, it’s important to work on developing more trust and comfort with the girl.

So how does one create trust and comfort?

Well, the two go hand in hand. If you can create one, the other will follow. The first way you can do this is to be relaxed and have fun when you’re with the girl. Cracking jokes, laughing, and having a good time will relax her and make her feel comfortable around you.

Refrain from judging her and other people too harshly. Lack of trust and comfort usually stems from being judged and criticized. You need to let her know that she can make mistakes around you, and you won’t punish her for them.

Make her feel safe. Let her know you’re there for her when she needs you, and that you care for her. This goes a long way towards building trust and comfort.

And should she offer resistance to you, don’t get angry or upset! Instead, acknowledge it, agree with it, and talk about it. Allow her to voice what’s scaring her and help her work through it.

It might take awhile, but just let it. Eventually she’ll get comfortable enough, and the resistance will just fade away.

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